


Playing Dirty

by spuffy_noelle



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/M, Sexual Content, Teacher-Student Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-12
Updated: 2013-01-12
Packaged: 2017-11-25 06:28:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 40,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/636073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spuffy_noelle/pseuds/spuffy_noelle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Angel O'Toole enlists the help of his girlfriend Buffy Summers when his English professor, Spike Thompson, threatens his perfect GPA with bad marks. Spike is still recovering from the heartbreak of losing his fiancee, Drusilla, when Buffy comes into his life. Will Buffy stick to the plan or end up falling for her boyfriend's teacher?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

Chapter One - Angel 

Angel paced back and forth in front of her, angry as a bull. "A C fucking minus!" he exclaimed, repeating the same sentence he’d been saying for the past twenty minutes.

Buffy lay sprawled out on his bed, more interested in filing her nails than listening to his whining. As soon as he’d opened the door, he’d been practically foaming at the mouth over the C- his English professor had given him. She couldn’t care less, her grades weren’t something she had ever been particularly concerned about. But Angel went psycho over anything under an A. He was in his senior year at UC Sunnydale, majoring in Pre-law with a 4.0 average. Buffy was a junior, but had yet to stick with a major. She was much less goal oriented than Angel, which didn’t seem to bother him at all. In his eyes, he’d be making enough money to support them both once he got out of law school and his father gave him a corner office at the family law firm. Buffy didn’t know it yet, but Angel had their entire future mapped out for them.

"Creative Writing, a goddamned _elective_ , and he gives me a c fucking minus!"

"There’s a party at Delta Omega tonight," she told him after watching him pace a little longer, hoping his tantrum was finished.

"Are you even listening to me?" he asked, finally turning towards her. He shoved the paper under her nose so she could get a better look at the ‘C’ scribbled in red ink at the bottom.

Buffy rolled her eyes in exasperation. "Well, did you try to get him to change it?"

"Of course I did," Angel replied balling up the assignment and tossing it into the trash can next to his desk. "And do you know what he had the fucking nerve to say?" He paused dramatically, even though he wasn’t actually waiting for her to answer. "He said it lacked creativity and to try to use more imagination next time." He kicked the chair he was standing next to angrily.

"Chill out, it’s just one grade."

"No, it’s not just one grade," Angel insisted. "The last two papers were B’s. I’ve got law school to think about. I’m applying to Harvard, Buffy. Nothing less than a 4.0 will get me in."

"Okay, I get it, it’s the end of the world if you don’t ace this class," Buffy replied sarcastically. "What are you going to do about it?"

"I’ll think of something."

*****

Professor Spike Thompson locked the door to his office, more than ready to get home and into bed. He’d spent much of the afternoon and evening meeting with students concerned over their grades. Normally, he loved when students used office hours to their advantage but today was a different story. Today they’d all been whining and horribly annoying and he’d wanted so badly to just rip up their papers and tell them to get the fuck out.

What he needed was to go home, have a nice strong drink and get into bed.

As he made his way to his car, he noticed a group of students walking down the path towards him. They were loud and apparently drunk, probably heading to or from a party. He tried his best to ignore them, and he did so well that he forgot about them all together and bumped into one of them roughly.

He reached out to steady the petite woman he’d almost knocked over, looking her over as she winced from the contact. "I’m so sorry."

She nodded and was about to move foward with the rest of her group when Angel O'Toole appeared at her side.

"Professor Thompson?" he asked with a big smile. "I know you said there was nothing you could do about my grade, but now that we’re out of the classroom and you’ve had time to think it over..."

Spike, clearly annoyed by his student’s interruption, turned his attention back on the tiny blonde. "Are you okay?"

"She’s fine," Angel spoke for her, eager for the conversation to return to him. "Now, about my grade."

"Mr. O’Toole, this is neither the time nor the place for this discussion. My decision on your essay was final, but if you feel the need to discuss it further you know when my office hours are." Glancing once more at Buffy, he suddenly realized how much skin her dress revealed. Clearing his throat, more than anxious to move away from the couple, he muttered "Good night," and continued hurriedly down the path.

  
  


*****

"I know now."

Buffy looked over at Angel. He was laying on his back next to her, and he’d been so quiet she thought he was sleeping.

"You know what?"

"How to change my grade."

She pulled the sheet tighter around her naked body and rolled onto her side facing away from him. He was drunk and she was tired. "Yeah, how?"

"I’m gonna get him fired."

Buffy rolled over, actually interested to hear how he’d manage that. "Again, I say how?"  
Angel draped an arm over her stomach. "You," he told her before drifting off to sleep.

*****

"Oh, no, this is so _not_ what I meant when I told you to get him to change it."

"C’mon, Buff. I’m not asking for a lot here."

"Ruining a man’s life is a lot, Angel!"

"Like you actually care about anyone else," he scoffed. "You’ve fucked-over, half this campus to get what you want."

Buffy folded her arms across her chest. "But this isn’t about me. It’s _your_ problem, not mine. Fix it yourself."

"I need you for this to work. One time that’s it."

"You think he’s just going to fuck a student. Even I’m not that persuasive. It’s going to take more than one try, Angel."

"Just think about everything we’ll have once I’m working for my Dad. He won’t take less than Harvard, Buffy. Think about all the expensive cars and clothes and houses we could have." He watched her face happily as she pondered what he was telling her. "Does fucking one stupid teacher seem like so much for all that?"

"I could get expelled!"

"You won’t," Angel assured her. "You’ll look like an innocent victim."

Buffy thought about it for a few minutes before sighing in defeat. "Fine, I’ll do it. But only once."

"That’s all I need."


	2. Chapter Two

Chapter Two - Tutor

Buffy made her way through the throng of students milling about the English building hallways. She still didn’t particularly like Angel’s plan, but if she had to be fucking any professor she might as well do the hot British guy. If Angel had been having trouble with his fat, seventy year old law professor she’d rather let him work full time at the Doublemeat Palace than help him get into law school.

She actually didn’t know Professor Thompson at all. Never been in his class or attended one of his lectures. She remembered hearing about his lectures when she was a freshman, poetry and literature and stuff like that. But when his fiancee died in a car wreck, he’d taken a year off and everyone was surprised when he returned this year for the fall semester. He was no longer the motivating speaker he’d once been, though. Now, he mostly kept to himself; went to his classes, stayed in his office for office hours, and then went home.

Buffy found herself outside his office door. Maybe if she could convince Professor Thompson to change Angel’s grade she wouldn’t have to seduce him at all. Sure, she’d done bad things before to get ahead, but had never gone as far as Angel was asking her to go this time. Shaking her head, she set her resolve to do this for Angel. She knew Angel was bright and probably did deserve the A he was striving for. This was just something she had to do to secure their future. Not leaving herself anymore time to second guess herself, she knocked on the door.

The door opened in front of her, and he was standing there looking down at her expectantly. "Can I help you, Ms...?"

"Summers," she told him quickly. "Buffy Summers."

Spike stepped back, allowing her entrance into his small office consisting of only a desk, two chairs, a small couch and a filing cabinet. To her relief, he closed the door, giving them privacy. "I hope this doesn’t have to do with any medical bills," he said seriously, sitting down at his desk.

Buffy looked at him, confused before taking a seat at the other chair next to his desk. "Medical bills?"

"It was you I bumped into last night wasn’t it. You were with Mr. O’Toole."

"Oh, right. No, I promise this has nothing to do with that," she told him with a smile. She leaned foward in her seat, making sure that the tight shirt and push up bra she wore to give herself more cleavage pressed her breasts up. "I was hoping you’d consider tutoring me."

"Tutoring you?" he repeated, trying his best not to stare down her shirt.

She pouted. "I’m not doing so well in English 102."

"So, you’re a freshman?"

Buffy rolled her eyes. "Junior. I just decided to skip it after I failed it freshman year. And now it’s seriously kicking my ass."

Spike leaned back in his chair resting his hands on the arms. "And why have you decided to ask me?"

_Good question._ "Well, because a friend of mine recommended you. Said you were the best there is."

Spike still didn’t look convinced. "A friend?"

"Anya!" Buffy exclaimed, thanking God a lightbulb finally went on in her brain. Anya had taken his English 101 class back in freshman year and had talked non-stop about how hot he was for the entire semester. "Anya Jenkins. She’s one of my sorority sisters and she recommended you to me." Buffy crossed her legs, letting the short skirt she was wearing ride dangerously high up her thigh. She didn’t even have to look up to know his eyes were on her. "And, plus you’re English. My own authentic tutor."

Spike sat quietly while he thought over her request. A part of him wanted to tell her he didn’t have the time and ask her to leave, but a bigger part wanted her to stay. The old Spike wanted to help the gorgeous woman sitting in his office, which made him want her to leave even more. Did he even have enough time in his schedule? Could he fit her in? Could her skirt be any shorter?

"I guess I can find time," he told her finally.

Buffy beamed at him and he knew he was in trouble. "We could meet here a couple of nights a week," he offered.

"Oh, no, this is way too stuffy. I’m feeling claustrophobic enough as it is and I’ve only been in here for fifteen minutes. I study much better in a homey environment." She paused. "I used to have great grades in high school when I lived at home. So much quieter than college."

Spike frowned. "You want me to come to your house, then?"

Buffy shook her head. "No way! The sorority house is way too loud for anyone to study," she told him with a laugh. "And the library is too quiet. We probably wouldn’t even be able to talk to each other."

Spike ran a hand through his platinum curls, growing frustrated by the woman sitting across from him.

"I could come to your place," she suggested innocently.

No. No. No. Absolutely not. Terrible idea. Too personal. God, those eyes. Beautiful green eyes that were begging him to help her.

"Sure." _Fuck_.

"Okay, see you on Thursday night around seven thirty." She walked around the desk, leaning over him to give him a loose hug to show her gratitude.

He couldn’t keep his eyes off the two perfect breasts falling out of her shirt. Or the way her soft body felt against his. Or the way she smelt like strawberries. The hug was too short for him and then she was gone.

*****

Buffy parked her red BMW outside of Professor Thompson’s home Thursday night at exactly seven thirty. She got out of the car, smoothing down her skirt as she made her way to his front door. She’d carefully chosen her outfit, not wanting it to be too much for a study session. The pink skirt she wore came up above the knee and had a slit in the front that followed the line of her inner thighs and stopped when it reached just below her panties. To downplay her skirt, she wore a simple white tee that hugged her breasts and was a tiny bit see through.

She checked her appearance in the glass door, before ringing the doorbell. She looked hot and if he wasn’t fucking her tonight then he wasn’t fucking her at all.

Spike opened the door, and Buffy couldn’t help but stare at him. The only times she’d ever seen him was at the university and while he always looked hot in a suit it was nothing compared to this. The dark blue jeans he wore left little to the imagination and she felt her mouth water slightly. His black tee fit like a second skin, outlining every perfectly defined muscle in his upper body. Suddenly, fucking him didn’t seem like such a chore.

"Ms. Summers?"

Buffy blinked and forced herself to look at his face. Which wasn’t a good idea either. Were his eyes always so blue?

"Ms. Summers are you alright?" Spike asked, looking at her with concern. He reached out and touched her arm, snapping her out of her stare.

Buffy blushed furiously. "I’m sorry, just spaced out a little there." She flashed him a smile as she walked inside the house.


	3. Chapter Three

Chapter Three - Poetry

Buffy looked around the house, noticing that he’d set up books on the kitchen table for them to study. Across from the kitchen was a nicely decorated living room. A nice big sofa, a loveseat and an armchair circled around an entertainment unit. Everything was black except for the wood floor beneath their feet.

"Nice place," Buffy commented, walking directly into the living room and making herself comfortable on the couch.

"I thought it would be best for us to study at the table," he told her, gesturing to the books spread out across the table as if she hadn’t seem them already.

She patted the empty cushion next to her. "Bring your stuff over here. It’s more comfortable."

He definitely didn’t want to be comfortable with the beautiful young student in his home, but found he couldn’t deny her either. He dutifully picked up the texts and notebooks and brought them over to her, placing the books between them on the couch.

Buffy rejoiced inwardly. She could tell he was trying to distance himself from her, but she knew half the fight was over. She had him right where she wanted him.

Spike opened up the first text and asked her what her next assignment was. Buffy took the book from his hand and closed it, placing it on the coffee table in front of them.

"Why does everyone call you Spike?" she asked, sneakily moving each book between them onto the coffee table.

"It’s a nickname," he told her, watching as she moved the books but didn’t say anything about it. "Got it when I was a kid. It stuck."

"What’s your real name?"

"William."

"W _illiam_ ," she drawled and he loved the way the word tumbled across her tongue. He was getting hard just from hearing her sound out his name. By now the space between them had been cleared and she was discreetly moving closer to him. "I like it, but I think I’ll stick to Spike."

"Ms. Summers..."

"Buffy," she corrected. "I can call you Spike right?"

He nodded. "I-I think all the 102 professors are getting into poetry now," he stammered, the effect of having her so close taking its toll on him. "We should start with poetry."

Almost as if she hadn’t heard him, she took his hand and placed it over her cotton covered breast. "We can start wherever you want."

His eyes widened from shock before he ripped his hand away and flew off the couch. "Would you like something to drink?" he asked nervously already in the kitchen. "How rude of me, not to offer you."

Buffy sighed, but made herself comfortable on the couch. "Sure, make mine on the rocks."

Even though that wasn’t the kind of drink he’d been talking about, he was glad to have the excuse. He needed to regroup and think about what he was doing before he made a big mistake.

Buffy accepted the scotch from him, taking a sip before placing it on a coaster. He was still standing, obviously debating on kicking her out or trying to actually study. She decided to make the decision for him.

"Look, Professor Thompson, I’m sorry about before. I can get a little carried away sometimes," she told him, looking like she was sorry. "Will you please sit back down and help me with the poetry. I really don’t wanna fail again."

Spike seemed to accept what she said, and took his place next to her on the couch. "Okay, shall we start with some Dickinson?"

Buffy resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "Sure."

He picked up one of his books, opening to the page saved by a bookmark.

" _It's all I have to bring to-day,_ _This, and my heart beside,_

_This, and my heart, and all the fields,_

_And all the meadows wide._

_Be sure you count, should I forget, --_

_Someone the sum could tell, --_

_This, and my heart, and all the bees_

_Which in the clover dwell._

She’d never been a fan of reading or poetry, but the way he read the words was making her wet. His voice was low and sensual like he really felt what the poet was writing deep in his bones. Did he know he would affect her this way? Was that his plan?

Of course not, he was the one who had pushed her away.

Whether or not she’d done it purposely, she was now sitting close to him again. Her breathes were coming out short and shallow and she felt hot under his intense gaze. Not giving him a chance to pull away, she leaned foward capturing his mouth in a hard kiss. She felt him stiffen under her lips, but he responded after the initial shock wore off.

She was kissing him. God, it was so wrong, but she tasted so good and it had been so long. He pulled her into his lap forcefully. He was sure she could feel his hard on poking into her ass, and he let out a moan as she wiggled in his lap.

Spike was the first to break away, panting for air like a dog on a hot summer’s day. He looked so shocked and pleased and horny that she couldn’t let the moment pass. She started trailing kisses down his neck, sucking on his pulse point while her hands moved over his denim clad erection.

"Buffy," he hissed, the part of his brain that had been telling him this was wrong no longer functioning as her small fingers touched him through his jeans.

She silenced him with a kiss on the lips before she crawled out of his lap to kneel between his legs on the floor. Before he could protest she’d freed his erection and was pumping him slowly.

"Doesn’t poetry just make you so horny?"

He couldn’t find his voice, so he simply nodded. Watching her as she moved her mouth over the tip of his cock and sucked on the precum glistening there, he felt his balls tighten and had to close his eyes to prevent coming right then. Her hand was still pumping his shaft as her tongue swirled around the head.

His hands gripped the fabric of the cushion to prevent himself from thrusting his hands in her hair and fucking her face. She was teasing him and he wanted her to cut the shit and take his length in her hot little mouth, but couldn’t find the voice to tell her so.

"Is this okay, Professor Thompson?" she asked in an innocent voice, her big round eyes staring up at him.

He shook his head, and she knew he wanted more. She stopped pumping him and removed her hand. He groaned at the loss of touch until he felt her take him into her mouth. She relaxed her throat and took him in as far as she could without gagging. She used her tongue and sucked him for all he was worth, swallowing and clenching her throat muscles around him.

She bobbed her head up and down over his shaft, reaching into his jeans to cup his balls in her soft hands. She rolled her thumbs over the stretchy skin feeling them tense beneath her touch.

"Buffy," he moaned, his hands now in her hair attempting to pull her head back. "Buffy...I’m...close....I’m....gonna..."

She only continued with increased stamina, one hand abandoning his sack to pump the base of his cock while she sucked on the tip. She heard his labored breathing, his hands running wildly through her hair as he neared climax.

He came with a loud moan, shooting his load down the back of her throat. She eagerly licked him dry before climbing up onto the couch next to him again.


	4. Chapter Four

Chapter Four - Sorority Girls

After leaving Spike’s house, Buffy found herself in need of a cold shower. Instead, she got herself off in a nice hot one, relieving the ache between her legs as fast as possible. She thought about waiting for Angel to come over and fuck her into the next day, but dismissed the thought as soon as it entered her mind.

“How’d everything go?” Angel asked, closing her bedroom door behind him. “You fuck him yet?”

Buffy didn’t answer right away. She didn’t want to admit to Angel that she’d given his teacher a blow job. It would arouse suspicion because it was one thing she rarely did for him. “No,” she found herself saying. It wasn’t a lie, she just didn’t feel the need to elaborate.

“Why the fuck not?”

“He was all about the poetry,” she complained. “You didn’t tell me how boring he is!”

Angel rolled his eyes. “This has nothing to do with you liking him, Buffy.”

“I think it might take a while. He doesn’t seem like the kinda guy who just fucks his students after a couple of tutoring sessions.” No, he’s just the kind of guy who likes to receive oral sex from the students he tutors. “I’m gonna have to hang around him for a while.”

Angel obviously didn’t plan on staying. He stalked towards the door, turning back to fix her with a cool look as his hand grasped the knob “Whatever, just get it done,” he called to her as he slipped out of the room.

Buffy laid back on her bed, finding her thoughts drifting back to the tutoring session. Professor Thompson seemed like a complete book nerd, but outside of school she could tell that wasn’t the case at all. There was definitely something different about him, and she wanted to know what it was.

*****

Buffy made her way into the main room of her sorority house. There was a meeting starting in ten minutes to discuss the upcoming formal and rush week. Buffy’s closest friends in the house were already gathered in the room. Willow was sitting on the loveseat next to Faith, who was perched on the arm of Anya’s overstuffed chair. She sat down in the empty seat next to Willow.

They’d all been in the sorority since they were freshman and by now most of them had a high ranking in the house. Buffy was pledge master, in charge of the pledges and rush week. Willow was the Vice President, but only because as a junior she wasn't eligible for precidency until her senior year. Everyone went to her for advice anyway, bypassing the house President Harmony Kendall, all the time. Anya was the treasurer, she loved money and was an accounting major. Faith didn’t have a rank in the house, which was how she preferred it. She wasn’t eligible anyway, she was lucky to be in the sorority at all with all the trouble she was constantly in with Dean Snyder.

The three girls were talking about the dresses they’d picked out for the upcoming formal when Buffy arrived. Buffy anxiously wanted to squeeze information about Professor Thompson out of Anya before the meeting started.

“Professor Thompson?” Anya asked, more than a little surprised at her friend’s inquiry. “You don’t have him this semester.”

“I know,” Buffy replied quickly. “But Angel does, and he’s having problems with him.”

“I’m not surprised,” Anya replied, not one to mask her feelings. “Professor Thompson demands one hundred percent out of his students and Angel likes to get by on his charm.”

Buffy automatically felt the need to defend her boyfriend even though her friend was right. “He does not!”

“I’m not saying it’s a bad thing,” Anya told her, patting her arm to calm her. “He’s going to be a very successful attorney.”

“Anyway,” Buffy said pointedly, “everyone says Professor Thompson has changed since his fiancee died.”

“He used to be cool as hell,” Faith summed up in her usual, simple way.

“His fiancee, Drusilla, had been his TA, but she stopped working with him after they fell in love. Drusilla was a grad student, which is not nearly as frowned upon as when a teacher’s getting down and dirty with an undergrad student,” Anya told her knowingly. “They used to _party_ with the students, if you know what I mean.”

Buffy’s face clearly showed she had no idea what Anya meant.

“They used to snort lines at frat parties,” Faith said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Willow’s eyes were round as saucers and Buffy felt just as surprised as her friend.

“He doesn’t do it anymore,” Anya told them, justifying the professor’s actions.

“Uh, girls? Can I have _everyone’s_ attention?”

Their conversation came to a halt as the president of their house, Harmony, entered the room ready to start the meeting. Buffy wanted to learn more about the professor, but didn’t feel like starting another bitch fight with their ditzy leader.

“Okay, well, I just want to say that things are really coming together for the upcoming formal,” Harmony told them excitedly. “I’ve even managed to snag the hottest members of the faculty as our chaperones.”

The girls giggled as Harmony read off the names of the professors that would be attending the affair. Buffy tuned her out, not really caring about the preparations for the dance. She knew it was just a silly tradition so everyone could get wasted in formal wear.

“Who are you bringing?” Buffy asked Faith quietly as Harmony droned on.

“Xander Harris,” Faith told her friends. “You know...on the swim team. Awesome upper body and a real bunny in the sack.”

Anya shivered and made a face. “You just had to go there didn’t you? That’s a mental image I could have gone without. I may never be able to have an orgasm again!”

Faith simply smirked, shrugging her shoulders innocently.

“I’m sure that’s not true.” Buffy rolled her eyes. “Who are you taking, Ahn?”

“I’m still deciding,” she told them quickly. “It’s a toss up between Greg Olaf or Riley Finn.”

“Olaf’s a brute and Finn’s a momma’s boy...tough choice,” Faith said and Buffy and Willow laughed.

“Yes, well, I’ll be taking them both for one more test drive before I make any hasty decisions.”

"And," Harmony screeched in the background, oblivious to the fact that the foursome was engaged in their own conversation. "Anyone who even thinks of wearing magenta is _so_ done in this sorority!"

Buffy rolled her eyes at both Anya and Harmony and nudged Willow playfully. “They make us look boring.”

“I think I’ll stick with boring, thank you.” Willow had been going out with her boyfriend Oz since high school and they were so obviously in love. Buffy groaned, “I feel like this meeting is never going to end!”

“Harmony just likes to hear herself talk,” Faith grumbled. “Anyone up for lunch after this?”

*****

Spike sat in his office grading papers from his Creative Writing classes. He was trying his hardest not to think about the blonde bombshell that had been invading his thoughts ever since their “tutoring session”. He was doing a good job of it while working on Jeremy Caldwell’s impressive work, until he arrived at the next paper.

Angel O’Toole.

He contemplated just giving him the A he was so desperately seeking. It was the least he owed him after receiving a blow job from the kid’s girlfriend, but it had never been his style to give out undeserved marks, no matter what the situation.

Not that there was a situation. He had promised himself he wouldn’t get involved with another student, and he’d meant it. The university had looked the other way when they found out he and Drusilla were to be married, but Buffy was only twenty years old. It wasn’t the same. There couldn’t be a situation, even if he wanted there to be one, and he didn’t.

Forcing himself to read the paper objectively, he got back to work. It wasn’t long before he was interrupted.

The door to his office opened and shut quickly, and he found himself looking up at the woman who’d been consuming his thoughts for the better part of two days. She was staring at him as she twisted the lock on the door she was leaning against.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, masking his voice with cold indifference.

“We need to talk,” she told him, letting him know she was running the show.

“You shouldn’t have come here.”

She let out a chuckle. “Well, you shouldn’t have come in my mouth, but that didn’t stop you.”

He wanted to smile at her quip, but forced himself not to. She was being inappropriate and it was his job as the teacher to draw the line. “You’re right, that shouldn’t have happened.” He looked away from her so he could say, “I suggest you look for another tutor.”

She didn’t reply, and when he looked back up she was standing less than a foot away from him and moving closer. She slid into the space between him and his desk, leaning back against the desk. There wasn’t much space, and her legs were nestled between his.

He didn’t trust himself to breathe, never mind speak.

“I want _you_.”

As if to prove herself, she moved in tentatively caressing his lips with her own. It took him a second to go over right and wrong and she started moving back, rejected, when he grabbed the back of her neck, crashing his lips to hers again.

She moaned into his mouth, pleasantly surprised by his change of heart. Of course she’d come to his office to seduce him, but she also wanted to make sure he didn’t want to stop seeing her.

He pushed her back so she was lying flat on his desk. The papers he’d been grading crinkled under her weight and some flew off the desk. She let out a groan, and he didn’t realize it was from pain until she was pushing him back up.

“Stapler,” she explained, holding up the offending object.

He took it from her and threw it off to the side. It’s noisy landing was drowned out by her moan as his tongue invaded her mouth. His hands roamed freely over her body, leaving goose bumps in their wake. They slid down her sides and back up to cup her breasts and tease her nipples through the thin cotton of her tank.

Her hands sought out the button of his dress pants, quickly undoing them and pushing them down his legs. She took hold of his hard on, pumping him fast as his lips descended on hers again. Their kisses were fevered and passionate. This was all either of them had been thinking about since they’d last seen each other, and now that it was happening it was better than either of them even imagined.

Leaving her breast, his hand made its way between them and under her skirt. Her panties were soaked and he couldn’t resist teasing her a bit. He rubbed her mound through the thin fabric, delighting in her pants and gasps.

“Spike, please...”

He slid a finger under her panties and into her wet passage. In and out, slow and deliberate. He added a second finger, curling them to reach her G-spot and stroke the bundle of nerves. “This what you want, pet?”

Buffy’s head shook frantically against the table, his fingers still deep inside her.

His thumb flicked her clit. “How about that?” She didn’t respond, her eyes were closed. “Well, if you won’t tell me...” His fingers stopped moving inside her, and he looked down at her, waiting for her response.

“This,” she said as her hand gripped his cock.

He was shocked, aroused, and ready to pound into her all at the same time. Without warning, he ripped the panties from her body, ignoring her surprised gasp and thrust into her. She wrapped her legs around his waist and he barely let her adjust to his size before he began to thrust into her.

She reached for him, pulling him down on top of her and claiming his lips. As he groaned, she took advantage and thrust her tongue inside his mouth. She tasted him, licking the roof of his mouth and caressing his tongue with hers. He tasted good. Keeping him close, she wrapped her arms around his neck, sighing when his lips traveled down her neck.

He was so close, but he wanted her to come first. Keeping his mouth attached to her neck with little bites and licks, his hand snaked between them again and found the hard little nub he’d been looking for. He twisted it between his thumb and forefinger, paying attention to the sounds she was making as he twisted harder.

“Uh....Spike!....Yeah, right...there...”

He sped up his thrusts, making sure he hit her clit with every thrust up. Finally the impact of his fingers and dick sent her spiraling over the edge. She bit down on his shoulder to keep from screaming out his name and alerting anyone lingering in the hallway to their activities.

Satisfied that he’d taken care of her, he focused on pumping into her. God, she was so tight. Felt so perfect being inside her. Her legs tightened around him, bringing him closer and allowing him to thrust even deeper into her heat. It wasn’t long before he was spent, collapsing on top of her.

“Does this mean I won’t be needing a new tutor?” Buffy asked, still slightly out of breath, from beneath him.

Spike pulled back, looking down at her with a smirk. “That’s exactly what it means.”


	5. Chapter Five

Chapter Five - Learning

They had agreed to meet again on Tuesday, but Buffy couldn’t wait any longer. She went by his office after her last class, but he hadn’t been there. His car was in the parking lot, so she went to the next place she could think of, knowing that he didn’t have class. That’s how she found herself in the library for the first time since orientation her freshman year.

She didn’t have to look very long. After searching through the fiction section, she found him looking through the stacks marked ‘poetry’. She looked around to make sure no one was watching, before approaching him.

He didn’t even notice her as she slid between him and the bookshelf. She was grinning up at him, a look of mischief in her eyes. "Preparing for our next study session?"

"I am."

"I was doing a little prep work of my own," she told him, taking his hand and placing it over her breast.

Spike raised an eyebrow. "Were you now?"

"I was." She moved his hand slowly down her front and into her pants, letting him feel how wet she was. "See?"

Spike looked over his shoulder, worried that someone would see them. "Buffy, we can’t do this here."

"I’ll be quick," she promised, smiling like the cat who ate the canary when he inserted two fingers. Trying to stay as quiet as possible, she brought his head down to hers to muffle the inevitable moans and whimpers.

His lips trailed from her mouth, leaving little kisses along her jaw. "You’re a very naughty girl, Ms. Summers," he breathed into her ear. He rubbed her clit in time with his fingers as they thrust into her pussy. "So nice and wet for me. Was this how you were preparing? Did you touch yourself and think of me?" She was nodding frantically now, so close it hurt.

His other hand moved from where it rested on her waist to under her shirt. He moved the lace of her bra aside to roll a nipple between his fingers. "Let it go, baby. Come for me."

And she did. Her juices flowed over his hand. Her knees felt like pudding and she was lucky he had her pressed against the bookcase otherwise she’d have fallen to the floor. Her head dropped to his chest as she tried to regulate her breathing.

Spike took his hand out of her pants, licking himself clean of her juices. "You taste delicious," he told her as he licked the last finger clean.

Her face scrunched up in distaste. "That’s disgusting."

He wrapped his arms around her waist, crashing his mouth into hers in a kiss that took both their breaths away. She couldn’t help but taste herself on him as his tongue explored her mouth. He smirked at her as he pulled back.

Her knees were weak again. "I stand corrected."

*****

As soon as he closed the door she had him pressed up against it. He smiled into her lips, kissing her back with equal fervor. She wrapped her arms around his neck, burying her fingers in the soft hairs at the nape of his neck and bringing him even closer to her.

He reversed their position, slamming her back against the door, their mouths never disconnecting. His erection poked very obviously into her soft stomach, letting her know just how much he wanted her.

"Kitten..."

 _Kitten._ She liked that. She reached down between them, stroking him through his pants. Their mouths were still fused together, kissing like they hadn’t seen each other in years when really it had only been a matter of hours since he’d gotten her off in the library.

They reversed again, back to the original position they’d started at when she first came into the house. His hand traveled over her body, up the back of her legs and beneath her skirt, rubbing small circles over her ass before sliding to the front between her thighs. He was shocked to find no barrier separating them.

"No knickers?" he asked with a smirk. She pretended to be embarrassed as she shook her head. It only made him harder. How had this happened? He couldn’t believe this goddess had come to him, wanting to be with him. She was so beautiful, and if she kept doing that thing with her tongue...

She couldn’t wait any longer. She needed him inside her. He helped lift her as she jumped on top of him, her legs instinctively wrapping around his waist. Her hand left his neck, finding and undoing his button and zipper easily. She took him in her hand, and she could feel how ready he was. She didn’t need to look down, the weight of him in her hand reminding her of how big he was and she marveled how he fit so perfectly as she directed him inside.

Their heads separated as he entered her. He stared up at her, waiting until she was ready before thrusting up into her heat. Her hands gripped his shoulders for leverage as she rode him slowly.

Both were breathing heavily as their mouths gravitated back together. His tongue invaded her mouth, thrusting in time with his cock. He turned them again, slamming her back against the door so hard it shook beneath her weight.

She reached up, her hand seeking anything to hold onto while she rode him even faster. He was thrusting up into her, his sack slapping against her ass with every upward thrust.

"Unh!...Spike!.....Yes!" she cried out as she came, her juices coating his cock and sending him spiraling over the edge right after her.

*****

After they both had regained their composure, Spike insisted that they actually spend some time studying. She pouted and protested, but he made it clear that he was going to help her pass English 102, and that he’d checked out her grades and knew she was in danger of failing.

"School isn’t important to me," she argued.

"What is?"

"Shopping and my friends and my sorority and..."

"Angel?" he asked, looking at her out of the corner of his eye.

"Yes," Buffy said slowly. Angel was and always would be important to her no matter what happened. Or what was happening. "But you are, too."

"Thanks, pet, I was beginning to think you were only after one thing," Spike replied sarcastically.

"Would that be so bad?"

He pretended to think it over. "Suppose not. I am an intelligent bloke."

She rolled her eyes. "So why do you keep giving Angel bad grades anyway?"

"Besides the fact that I just don’t like the poof? Because he’s not working up to his full potential." He looked at her pointedly. "Not much different than you."

"What are you doing in college if you hate school so much?" he asked.

No one had ever asked her that question, even though she was basically still at a freshman’s level with all her credits. She pondered for a moment, before telling him the embarrassing truth. "Just something my parents wanted me to do I guess." She paused. "But I’ve been with Angel so long, and I know he plans to be this successful lawyer so it’s like I stopped needing to find a career. The plan was for Angel to take care of the money and for me to spend it."

"And that’s changed?"

"I don’t know. How did you know you wanted to be a teacher?" she asked, hoping he’d stick with her change of subject.

"I didn’t," he answered truthfully. "I wanted to be a writer, so I went to school for journalism. I minored in education just so I’d have something to fall back on if writing never took. But then I needed something to pay the bills so I got a degree in education and figured I’d write while I was teaching." He chuckled. "But I fell in love with it, and haven’t attempted to get back into writing."

"How old _are_ you?" She blushed at her bluntness. "It just sounds like you did a lot, but you seem so young."

Spike laughed. "I’m only 31. But I graduated high school at 16, so I got an early start on college."

"16? You really are a genius."

"Well, yes, but I didn’t have much else to do but study when I was younger."

"Oh, give me a break! Like you weren’t breaking hearts all over Sunnydale."

"Stapehill."

"Stapler...what?"

"I lived in England until graduate school," he explained. "In a town called Stapehill."

"Why’d you come to Sunnydale?"

"Never planned on it, actually. I was in love with Cecily Adams all throughout high school and college. She never gave me the time of day until I decided to give myself this make over." He gestured to his hair and clothes. "Used to dress like a right nerd. Anyway, we were graduating from Oxford University and engaged to be married. That is until she decided she liked my brother, Wesley, more than me."

"What a bitch!"

"Yeah, I was so pissed, I couldn’t stand being on the same continent as them."

"Are they still together?"

"Yes, from what my mum tells me. Married with three boys."

Buffy looked at him sadly before leaning across the couch and giving him a long, sweet kiss. "I’m glad she left you," she told him as she pulled back, resting her forehead against his.

"Yeah, me too."


	6. Chapter Six

Chapter Six - Talk 

Buffy hadn’t seen Spike since Tuesday night, their last study session. She hadn’t seen Angel either, but that was her own fault. She’d been avoiding him ever since she had sex with Spike in his office over the weekend. But that morning, Angel had called to make a lunch date and she hadn’t been able to think of a good excuse to not go.

So she was waiting in the campus coffee shop for her boyfriend. Was it wrong that it sounded strange to call him that after everything she’d done with Spike? But, Angel _was_ her boyfriend. And she was just using Spike to help Angel get what he wanted.

Or at least she kept telling herself that.

"Hey, babe." Angel gave her a kiss before sitting in the seat across from her. "Got any good news for me?"

"I got a dress for the Theta formal." She hurried on before he could say anything. "It’s really cute. It’s a pink strapless-"

"I meant with Professor Thompson."

"Oh," Buffy said as though she hadn’t known exactly what he’d been talking about. She didn’t want to tell Angel that she’d slept with Spike already. And she didn’t want to think about the reasons behind that. "I told you it would take time."

Angel sighed and leaned back in his seat. "How _much_ time, Buff? By the end of the semester?"

"Probably. I don’t know him well enough to judge yet."

"Fine, just keep pushing him. It won’t take much for him to crack if you turn on the charm."

She knew the conversation was over when he signaled for the waitress.

*****

That evening, around six, Buffy found Spike in his office. The door was open and she leaned against the frame waiting to catch his attention. He was too engrossed in whatever he was reading and didn’t notice her until she softly knocked on the open door.

"Hey," she greeted walking into the room and closing the door. "You busy?"

"Nothing that can’t be interrupted," he replied with a smile, putting down the papers in his hand.

She smiled back, coming to sit on his lap and kiss him hello. "I was thinking, if you’re finished here, we could get some Chinese and bring it back to your place." She didn’t want to think about why she wanted to do something so normal as order in dinner with him.

"Sounds like a great idea, love."

She jumped off his lap excitedly and waited for him while he packed up his briefcase. It wasn’t long before they were halfway to the faculty parking lot. Unfortunately, he’d parked in the lot just past her sorority house.

"Buffy!"

Buffy turned at the sound of Willow calling her name. Willow, Faith and Anya were walking towards the student parking lot, which was adjacent to the faculty lot. She gave Spike a nervous look before facing her friends with a smile.

"Hey guys."

"Where are you going?" Anya asked, looking between Buffy and Professor Thompson.

"To study," Buffy told them quickly. "Professor Thompson is tutoring me in English."

Faith raised an eyebrow, but for once in her life kept whatever it was she was thinking to herself.

Anya didn’t do the same. "Is that why you were asking all those questions about him last week?"

Buffy resisted the urge to snap at her friend’s bluntness. Instead, she glared at her and if looks could kill...

"Yes, that’s exactly why. Thanks for bringing it up."

"I was just saying..."

"We were just going to get dinner, you sure you don’t want to come with?" Willow asked, figuring she’d give her friend an out. Studying wasn’t high on Buffy’s priorities, and she wondered how the professor had managed to get her to study with him. He wasn’t even Buffy’s professor.

"No, you guys go ahead. I should really stay with Professor Thompson and work on that paper I have due next week." Buffy felt bad lying to her friends. She hoped they would let it go, even though they all knew she never took her work seriously.

"Okay, B. Catch you later," Faith said with a wink before the three girls walked away.

Buffy let out a breath she hadn’t even realized she’d been holding. "Sorry about Anya," she apologized as they continued towards the lot. "She’s known for saying whatever pops into her brain."

"I remember from when she was in my class," Spike replied. He’d always liked Anya, she was straightforward, but also very intelligent and had a worldly knowledge about her. "Those your friends, Princess?"

"Yep, we’re all in the same sorority, Theta Kappa Epsilon. Right over there." She pointed to a second story window. "That’s my bedroom."

"Theta Kappa Epsilon," Spike said slowly, trying to remember why it sounded so familiar. "Are you having a dance next month?"

"Yep!" she replied excitedly as they approached Spike’s black Yukon Denali. "You’ve seen the fliers?"

"I wish." He unlocked the doors. "Your perkily annoying president managed to convince me to be a chaperone."

_"I’ve even managed to snag the hottest members of the faculty as our chaperones."_

"Perkily annoying? Watch out you’re starting to sound like me." He laughed. "And ‘evil bitch of death’ would be a better way to describe Harmony."

"She can’t be _that_ bad." Spike raised his eyebrows at the glare she shot him and backed off. "Okay, so she’s that bad."

"You try living with her for three years."

"I’ve had her as a student for almost two and a half," he told her with a smirk. "Somehow she always ends up in one of my classes."

Buffy rolled her eyes. "Talk about throwing yourself at someone. Dirty skank."

Spike smiled to himself. Was Buffy acting jealous? "What’s that saying about stones and glass houses, pet?"

"I did _not_ throw myself at you!" Buffy exclaimed defensively. "I offered politely."

"Politely sucked me off," he said with a laugh.

"I didn’t hear any complaints."

"Nor shall you," he assured her, taking her hand in his as he drove. "Now tell me what I should expect from this formal."

"You know, the norm. Drunk sorority girls doing a little dirty dancing."

"Suddenly chaperoning doesn’t seem like such a chore."

She smacked his arm lightly with her free hand. "Perv."

*****

They talked, laughed and flirted throughout dinner as they ate on his living room floor. There was music playing in the background, something she’d never heard before. Rock? Punk? It didn’t really matter because it blended in with the natural background noises of his house.

It occurred to her that they were getting comfortable with each other. Holding hands in the car, sharing dinner. It wasn’t about Angel anymore. Angel had started it, sure, but things were spiraling into something much more than either of them had intended. She had thought her life was with Angel, but now she found herself comparing Angel and Spike on a daily basis.

Angel was hard and demanding. They had history and up until last week, they’d had a set future. He loved her, but didn’t put her first. His career was always first, and she’d always believed that deep down he was doing it all for her.

But now, Spike was risking everything for her. He loved his job, and he was well aware of the consequences he would face if anyone ever found out about them.

If Angel had his way, they’d find out before the end of the semester.

Did Spike love her? Why else would he put his job on the line for whatever it was they had? Did she love him? How was it possible to love two people, so different, at the same time? She knew her feelings for Spike were more than they should be, but admitting that she was in love with him-it was too soon for that. Defining such strong emotions took more than a week. Love was built, and Buffy barely knew anything about him.

She wished she could talk to someone about all the thoughts that were running through her mind. Wished she could go to her friends and find out what they thought about her seemingly impossible situation. The only person who even knew about her relationship with Spike wouldn’t want to hear about her budding feelings.

Could she really risk that Spike was just using her as a piece of ass? One thing she didn’t like was getting hurt, and if she let her feelings expand any more than they had already, she’d been setting herself up for a fall.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

Buffy looked at Spike. He was finishing his chicken and broccoli and staring at her in wonder. She forced a smile and stood up, taking his hand in hers. "Give me the tour."

Spike left his dinner on the coffee table and led her around the small house. He comically introduced her to all the small things about his house. The kitchen table, the bathroom, his office. Finally he opened the door to the one room she’d been dying to see.

His bedroom was much like the rest of the house, decorated in all black. A soft black carpet covered the floor matching the black furniture around the room. A king sized bed lay in the middle, the only color in the whole room was his red bedding.

"Who’s your decorator?" Buffy teased.

"I was going through a dark time when I moved here," Spike told her.

_That is until she decided she liked my brother, Wesley, more than me._

"Oh." She took his hand and led him into the room towards the bed. "Do you realize we’ve never had sex with our clothes off?"

Spike laughed. "Yeah?"

"We should fix that." Buffy sat back on the bed, undoing the fastening of his jeans before he lifted her shirt off her. He eagerly threw his shirt on the floor next to hers. She pushed the jeans down his legs before looking up at him with a raised eyebrow. "Do you always go commando?"

Spike nodded, working on the zipper of her jeans.

"Even at school?"

Spike just smirked at her, giving her his answer with one look. He pulled her pants off of her, and just took a moment to look at her sprawled out on his bed wearing sexy black lingerie.

"Come here." She held her arms out to him.

He eagerly embraced her, kissing her slowly. There was no need to rush anything tonight. He kissed a trail down her body, starting by sucking slowly at that place just below her ear that he knew she loved. She knew he was going to leave a mark and that she would have to explain it to Angel, but she couldn’t bring herself to care.

He left open mouthed kisses down her throat and chest, stopping when he got to her breasts. Reaching behind her, he undid her bra, leaving her bare to his hungry eyes. He descended, gently latching his mouth onto a nipple. Teasing bites soon turned into lazy sucking while he tended to its twin with his fingers.

"Oh, God...." She groaned when he abandoned her breasts to move further down her body.

He licked his way down her flat stomach, his hands caressing her sides as he went. His fingers hooked under her lacy black thong, pulling it down her legs as he kissed her thighs softly.

She was thrusting up, wanting his touch on her aching center. "Spike," she pleaded. "Need you."

"Where, baby?" She thrust up again, but he wanted to hear her say the words.

He kissed her hip, licking the protruding bone, but stopping before he went any lower. She whimpered with need, writhing beneath him. "I’ll kiss you anywhere you want," he promised.

"Spike...need you...Lower!"

His fingers danced over the trembling flesh, teasing her even more. "Need to be more specific, love."

"Spike!" Buffy lifted her head to look at him pleadingly, hoping he wouldn’t take the game any further, but he was staring back at her, waiting for an answer. She dropped her head, quietly whimpering, "Need your mouth on my clit."

Spike smirked, even though she wasn’t looking at him. "Thought you’d never ask." He went down on her, sucking the tight bud into his mouth eagerly, lapping up the juices that were now flowing freely out of her cunt. He thrust in a single digit, opening her up for his probing tongue. While he went back to sucking and biting on her clit, two fingers slid deep inside stroking her. She rocked her hips, fucking his fingers and pushing herself even deeper into his mouth.

She was breathing deeply now, teetering on the edge of an orgasm. This was so foreign to her. Whenever Angel had done this before, he’d always started fucking her before she climaxed from his mouth and hands alone.

"Ughn! Yes, Spike....oh, God! Yes! Yes! Oh _god_!"

She lay on his bed, feeling boneless as he licked her clean.

He crawled up her body when he was finished, draping an arm around her waist. "You okay, baby?"

She nodded, incapable of speech at the moment.

"Good, ‘cuz I’m beat." He pulled the comforter and sheets out from underneath them and over their tired bodies. He dropped a feather light kiss onto her forehead before wrapping his arms around her again and pulling her close.


	7. Chapter Seven

Chapter Seven - Feelings

Buffy woke up a couple of hours later still wrapped in Spike’s embrace. He was still asleep next to her so she took a few minutes just to bask. He looked like a little boy in his sleep, completely innocent. She softly traced the outline of his cheekbone, barely putting any pressure on his face so that she wouldn’t wake him.

She turned her head, resting it against his chest, to leave small kisses across the hard plane. When she reached the nipple, she latched on sucking it gently into her mouth.

Spike stirred beneath her. "Buffy?"

Buffy didn’t stop, instead she rolled on top of him, straddling his waist. She felt him harden beneath her.

She was a vision on top of him. Her hair was adorably messy from sleep, but still looked perfect. His hands reached for her, rubbing her thighs and traveling higher to cup her breasts. They thumbed her nipples, waiting for the buds to harden before moving down again. He inserted a finger, and wasn’t surprised to see how wet she was. She was practically dripping.

"Spike..."

"I know, baby." He picked her up slightly by the waist and moved her until she was hovering over his erect shaft. He lowered her down slowly, watching as his cock disappeared inside her. He allowed her to set the pace as she started off slowly rolling her hips.

His hands returned to her breasts, palming the small globes. Her excruciatingly slow pace was slowly driving him insane. He grabbed her hips and thrust up into her, starting a faster rhythm. She didn’t seem to mind, following his lead. His fingers were gripping her so hard she knew it would bruise, but the pain only aroused her more.

"Yeah, just like that," Spike encouraged her as she sped up, seeking her release. He was thrusting up into her just as hard, their hips meeting with a slap with every thrust. His hand left her waist to pinch her clit.

She cried out his name as she rode out her release, leaning down and seeking his lips.

He flipped them over, pounding her into the bed with renewed fervor. He kissed her so hard her lips stung, but she didn’t pull away. Her legs were tightly wrapped around his waist, bringing him further inside her welcoming inferno.

His lips left hers to latch onto her nipple again. He wanted her to come once more before he did. Rubbing her clit as he thrust frantically, her moans and mewls slowly undoing him.

"I’m...uh!...so close..." she whimpered into his neck. He tasted salty and delicious as she sucked on the spot where his neck and shoulder connected.

The moment he felt her inner muscles clamp down around his cock, he was sent over the edge. He thrust up hard into her, spilling his load into her waiting body.

*****

"Kitten, you awake?" Spike asked fifteen minutes later.

She nodded. "Yeah."

He was glad he was spooned against her back and couldn’t see her face. "I was just thinking, I mean I’m sure you’ve thought of this already, but... Are you....?"

Buffy could have laughed at his nervousness. "Spell it out for me, Spike."

"We haven’t been using condoms," he blurted out.

"Oh. I’m on the pill." She looked down at their connected hands resting against her stomach. "If you’re worried about STDs..."

"Should I be?"

This was something Buffy tried hard not to think about. She didn’t think Angel would cheat on her. And if she ever had proof that he had, they’d be over. But she couldn’t help but think how Angel hadn’t even batted an eyelash at the thought of her sleeping with Professor Thompson. It obviously didn’t bother him to think of her with another man, but that didn’t necessarily mean he sought out other women.

"No," she replied, sounding confident even when it was the last thing she felt. "Not at all." Lying wasn’t something new to her, but this time she didn’t like it. She didn’t like lying to Spike about something so serious. But if she could lie to herself, she could lie to him.

"That’s all I need to know." He kissed the nape of her neck, entwining their fingers.

Buffy’s gaze drifted back to their entwined hands. She’d never laid like this with Angel. Not even in the beginning. And it scared the shit out of her.

*****

Buffy ended up staying the night. Neither of them had acknowledged it, but Spike hadn’t offered to drive her home and Buffy hadn’t wanted to leave.

The sun streaming into the room woke her up around eight. It was Friday and she didn’t have any classes and usually she’d still be asleep. Spike was no longer in the bed beside her, and the sound of his morning shower was a nice incentive to get out of bed early.

As quietly as she could, she snuck into the bathroom. The glass doors were steamy and she could barely make out the outline of his naked body under the hot spray. She managed to slide the door just enough to emit her petite body without him noticing. Her arms wrapped around his waist from behind.

He pretended to study the small arms wrapped around his middle. "Hmm, pink fingernails. Blond hair... could it be Harmony?"

Buffy gasped and hit his back.

He laughed and turned around, faking embarrassment. "God, pet I’m sorry. I forgot you stayed the night."

She pouted until he wrapped his arms around her, planting a kiss on her forehead. "Only teasing, kitten. Could never forget you."

"You better not."

He reached for her, but she evaded his grasp, turning him and pressing him up against the back wall. Before he knew what was happening, she was on her knees before him stroking his half erect cock to life.

She heard him hiss in anticipation before engulfing him in the heat of her mouth. The water from the shower was running down her back, feeling like a massage and helped relaxed her sore muscles. Spike was great, but God could he be an animal! He’d already pounded her into the top of his desk, his front door and his bed.

She focused on bobbing her head up and down, swirling her tongue around and massaging his balls with her hands. This wasn’t something she did often, although she did have the experience. She rarely gave Angel head and when she did it was because he wanted her to. Why she felt the need to get on her knees for Spike was something she didn’t want to think about. He brought out the sexual slut in her, that was for sure.

Spike’s hands were in her hair, and he was trying not to thrust into her and start fucking her mouth. He ran his fingers through her damp strands, trying to hold off his orgasm but he was so close. Her mouth felt amazing and she was sucking him like a pro.

"Oh, God! I’m gonna...uh!" His hands fisted in her hair, holding her to him as the warm liquid started pouring down her throat. "Harmony!"

Did he just...? She got to her feet, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand and staring at him in disbelief. Her eyes were round as saucers and he was smirking at her. God, how she wanted to slap that smirk off his face. Did he even realize what he just did?

Then, he started laughing. Giant, peals of laughter. He was laughing so hard he had to clutch his stomach and hold onto the wall for support.

What the fuck was so God damned funny?!

She resisted the urge to punch or kick or use any violence against him at all. Instead, she took it out on the door, shoving it open so hard it knocked off its hinges. She didn’t even bother with a towel as she searched for her clothes, throwing them on over her wet skin.

"Buffy!" Spike called from the shower, trying to sober up. "I was only kidding, baby. God, the look on your face was bloody priceless!"

She ignored him, attempting to shove her still damp legs into her already too tight jeans.

Spike came out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. He wasn’t laughing anymore. "Not funny?"

She sent him a murderous glare, but continued dressing herself.

"I’m sorry. Wrong time for jokes." He crossed the room, trying to get her to slow down and look at him. "Would you fucking look at me?"

Buffy stopped what she was doing to face him. She didn’t have tears in her eyes, but he could tell she was close.

"I’m sorry."

"You’re sorry?" she cried. "Oh, well then I guess it’s okay. All’s forgiven!" Her voice was perky, but her expression told him otherwise.

"It was just a joke, Buffy. I didn’t actually think you were Harmony."

"Whatever," she replied calmly.

He knew better than to think she would get over it so soon. "You’re not mad anymore?"

"Nope."

He didn’t know exactly what to say. She was putting on an act, giving him short, curt answers that let him know she was still angry with him. He didn’t want to push her and renew the argument, but if he let it go she’d let the angry feelings fester and blow up at him over something small down the road.

"Because it’s okay if you are. It was a bloody stupid thing for me to do."

"It was. I’m over it now." She refused to make eye contact with him. "I’m going to make myself breakfast."

Spike sighed heavily, feeling like the biggest wanker in the world. Him and his stupid practical jokes. Feeling helpless, he started to get dressed, not knowing what else he could do to make things right with Buffy.

*****

Buffy cracked an egg into the bowl she was using to scramble her eggs. She tried to concentrate on stirring the yolky mixture, but her mind just wouldn’t rest.

Yeah, he had a weird sense of humor. Totally uncalled for. But he seemed genuinely sorry and realized it was a huge mistake. That wasn’t what was bugging her.

The real problem was that it had hurt her feelings.

Since when was he able to _hurt her feelings_? This thing, whatever they had, was going entirely too far. She was using him for God’s sake. Involved in a plan that would get him fired from a job he loved and he’d probably never be able to teach again. And she’d agreed to it because it was what needed to be done. A means to an end. In her mind that had been justification enough.

But now she was learning things about him. She knew how he liked his coffee and where he grew up and what his favorite movie was. She was spending the fucking night wrapped in his arms!

No, this hadn’t been the plan. It was her own fault. If she could just tell Angel mission accomplished it would all be over. Spike’s career, these feelings. All of it. Over.

So what the hell was she doing?

Two strong arms wrapped around her waist from behind and she jumped in surprise.

Spike leaned down to kiss her shoulder. "Sorry, Princess. Didn’t mean to scare you." He left her to reach into the refrigerator and pull out bacon. "Making enough for me or should I get more eggs?"

Now they were making breakfast together?!

Buffy pushed away the bowl as if it had bitten her. The gooey liquid sloshed over the sides, making a mess on the counter. "I-I’m not hungry anymore." She grabbed her purse from the kitchen table and started walking to his front door.

"Buffy!" he yelled, rushing after her. "Where are you going?"

"I should get going." She racked her brain for a good reason to leave. Studying, no. Shopping, no too early. "Sorority meeting."

He looked at the clock over his shoulder with a frown. "It’s only 8:45. Are you sure you’re not still mad?"

"No," she scoffed. "I’m so completely over it. I’m so over it I forgot it even happened until you just mentioned it."

"Okay." He didn’t sound convinced. "At least let me give you a ride."

"No, I can walk. Get some exercise, I’ve been seriously neglecting the gym lately." She forced a smile to her face. "I’ll see you later," she told him leaning up to give him a peck on the cheek before disappearing out the front door.


	8. Chapter Eight

Chapter Eight - Head of the Class

Buffy stood outside Spike’s classroom, waiting for him to end the class. There was still five minutes left, and Buffy rolled her eyes. She hated the professors that kept their students 'til the very end. It made it that much easier for her to put Spike back into the ‘teacher’ mold, away from the ‘boyfriend’ mold he seemed to be in lately.

After she’d left Spike’s house that morning, the walk back to campus had given her a lot of time to think about what she was doing. She didn’t love Spike, and she was determined not to let it get to that. Her grades were a joke, and there was no way she was getting out of college with a career. She had a nice, cushy future with Angel and if she didn’t stick to their plan she’d end up back home living off her parents for the rest of her pathetic life.

"Buffy?" She looked up in surprise, but accepted Angel’s kiss. "Were you waiting for me?"

"Of course! Why else would I be standing outside your classroom?" Why was she lying again? She didn’t have to sneak around Angel to be with Spike.

Angel shrugged. "Just figured you were here to put in more time with our favorite professor." He held up a paper so she could see the ‘C+’ written in bold red ink at the top.

"Yeah, maybe I should," Buffy agreed.

Angel grinned. "Good." He gave her a quick kiss on the forehead. "I’ll pick you up later for the Sigma party."

"That’s tonight?" She’d completely forgotten about the huge keg party scheduled for that evening.

"Well, yeah it’s Friday. The day before the big game. What’s with you lately?"

"Nothing, just been a little distracted." _By your English professor who I’m supposed to be seducing. Turns out, he’s doing a better job of seducing me._ "I’ll see you later."

*****

Professor Thompson let out a sigh of relief as his last student walked out of the room. It had been almost impossible to concentrate during the three classes he’d had starting at 9:30 that morning. After Buffy had left, he’d practically given himself an ulcer worrying that he’d ruined everything between them.

He didn’t know how, but she’d managed to sneak into his heart during the short time they’d known each other. After Drusilla, Spike had thought he’d never be able to love anyone the way he had loved her. He hadn’t wanted to. Their love was eternal, and if she wasn’t here to be with him he didn’t want to be with anyone else.

But then Buffy had come crashing into his life and all that had gone to hell. She was a spitfire, unlike anyone he’d ever met, and he loved that about her. Hell, he loved everything about her.

"Spike?"

His head shot up from the papers he was gathering. She was standing in the doorway, watching him with an amused expression. Bringing a finger up to her lips, she gestured for him to remain silent before peeking her head out into the abandoned hallway.

Spike was still staring at her, in awe that she had actually come looking for him after that morning, as she stepped back inside the room, locking the door and turning off the lights.

"Buffy what are you-"

"This room is empty for the rest of the day," she started, walking towards him slowly. "The entire building is practically deserted."

His eyes followed Buffy as she passed him by, heading to the windows and shutting the blinds.

"We have this whole room to ourselves." She turned back to him with a mischievous gleam in her eyes. "And I’m not wearing any underwear."

He must be hearing things. Going crazy. There was no other possible explanation for the words coming out of her mouth. That or his imagination was playing games with him. Maybe she wasn’t really there. But, God, did she feel real.

"Have I ever told you how hot you look in this suit?" she asked, running her hands over his chest. Her gaze followed her hands, up his chest and continued up to his face. "Really. Hot."

Before he could reply, her lips were crashing against his, their mouths mashing together as a series of moans filtered into the air. Her hands were everywhere, pushing his jacket off his shoulders, tugging his shirt out of his pants, fumbling with the tiny buttons and finally, after what seemed like hours, her hands were at the button holding his pants in place.

"Fuck...Buffy..." he moaned after she’d freed him from the confines of his pants. Her hand moved up and down his shaft, slowly stroking it to life.

Quickly, she shed her own pants, bringing his hand between her legs. Her center was dripping wet and scorching hot to the touch. "Need you," she moaned, wrapping her arms around his neck and hoisting herself up into his arms. "Now."

She was up and had her legs wrapped around his waist before he had time to move his arms to support her. He stumbled forward, losing his footing and falling clumsily to the ground. Without hesitation, he spun around taking the brunt of the fall as they hit the cold cement. The pain was barely recognizable as she impaled herself over his weeping erection.

Buffy set a rough pace, slamming down on him in speedy, sporadic thrusts. This was just a fuck. _He_ was just a fuck. Get off and get out. As these thoughts spiraled through her mind, her pace increased until she was bouncing up and down on his cock and the pain was beginning to overrule the pleasure.

Spike flipped them so he was on top, stilling her movements. He propped himself up with his hands on either side of her, staring down into her eyes. "Slow down." His head dropped as his hips started moving again, this time in a slow, steady rhythm.

"No, harder," she commanded, breaking away from his gentle kisses and moving her hips faster.

"No." He kept moving slowly in and out of her, slipping all the way out of her wet cavern before driving his cock deep inside.

Her head fell to the side as she tried to fight off the tears of confusion that were fighting to roll down her face.

"Look at me." When she didn’t move her head, he lifted one hand to cup her chin and turn her back to him. "Look at me," he repeated, leaning in to kiss her again.

Buffy let him kiss her, his kisses soft but passionate, telling her everything she needed, but didn’t want to know. She responded like she wanted to, but was afraid to, kissing him back just as softly and passionately.

*****

"You coming over tonight?" Spike asked later when they were getting dressed.

Buffy shook her head, looking down at the zipper she was pulling up, avoiding his gaze. "I can’t. I have this party..."

"Oh." Spike shrugged on his jacket, running a hand through his hair which he knew was probably screaming ‘I just had sex’.

"It’s just that, if I don’t go my friends will get suspicious," she explained guiltily. "I never miss a party. Especially not a pre-game day Sigma party. Free drinks for Thetas."

He rolled his eyes. "Just be careful. I know what goes on at these parties."

"So I’ve heard," she murmured under her breath.

"What does that mean?" he asked, narrowing his eyes.

This time, she rolled her eyes. "It’s not a big deal. I know that you used to party with the students."

"Used to," he emphasized. "Things are different now."

"Yeah, now you only fuck them." She didn’t know why she was picking a fight with him, but from his expression that was exactly what she’d accomplished.

"What’s your problem?" he asked angrily. "You still pissed about this morning?"

"Not at all," she replied calmly. It still hurt that he’d called her by someone else’s name, but she really was over it. "I’m sorry, I don’t know why I said that."

Spike stepped closer to her, wrapping his arms around her waist and placing a kiss on the top of her head. "It’s okay, pet. Walk me to my office?"

She nodded, accepting a brief kiss before they parted.

*****

"Hey, Buffy, can I borrow your black Fendi bag?" Willow called out from the bathroom that connected their rooms.

"Sure, but you better not spill beer all over it like Faith did to my Gucci belt last weekend!" Buffy called back from in front of her closet. All the girls in the house were rushing around, getting ready for the Sigma party.

Buffy wasn’t looking forward to the party like she usually would. Hanging out with her friends was always fun, and she would probably get drunk, but she’d also have to deal with Angel. He would no doubt be asking questions about Professor Thompson and she was still debating on what to tell him. She really wanted this whole nightmare to end, but she didn’t know which part of it was the nightmare.

"Buff?"

Buffy snapped back to reality. Willow was standing in front of her, obviously waiting for something. "What?"

"Can I have the bag? I’m going over to Oz’s before the party."

"Oh, sure." Buffy reached into her closet, pulling out the desired garment and handing it to her friend.

"Thanks!"

Buffy’s thoughts turned back to her clothes as Willow exited the room. Angel said he would be picking her up at nine and it was almost eight. She still needed to straighten her hair, pick out her outfit, do her makeup and pick out accessories.

Pushing back all thoughts of Angel and Spike, she rushed into the bathroom to start on her makeup.


	9. Chapter Nine

Chapter Nine- Nobody’s Home

 

Buffy had already been at the party for three hours when her cell phone started vibrating in her bag. She rolled her eyes, Angel was probably in the back of the house wondering where she was and too lazy to look for her. The screen displayed one new text message. Curious, she opened her phone and read the message, a grin spreading across her face.

_I’m here._

Buffy looked around the crowded room, hoping to catch a glimpse of bright blond hair. As she started walking to the back of the house, her phone vibrated in her hand.

_Getting colder..._

Quickly, she spun around, almost spilling her drink with the sudden movement. Where the hell was he? He wouldn’t be waiting for her in the main party room. No, he’d be much sneakier and hide upstairs.

_Cold._

Buffy held back a frustrated cry as she read the message before her foot even touched the first step. He was so gonna get it. _Where the hell are you!?_

Careful to avoid her friends and Angel, she wandered through the house, reading his hints to determine which way she should go. She stumbled past two people making out in the front hall, her alcohol induced brain only allowing her to focus on finding Spike.

_Getting warmer._

She grinned, opening the front door and stumbling over the threshold. Something told her to go left, earning her one final message.

_Hot._

Buffy found Spike leaning against the side of the Sigma house smoking a cigarette. As soon as he saw her, he flicked the cigarette out of his hand, his signature smirk lighting up his face. She tried as hard as she could to saunter over to him sexily, a feat in her drunken state.

"Hot, huh?" she asked in what she hoped sounded like a sultry voice.

"Had a bit to drink, pet?"

"A little," she replied with a giggle. "Maybe a lot. Aren’t you going to kiss me?"

The pout was what did it for him. Pulling her towards him, he wrapped his arms around her waist, uncaring at the moment who could see them. He could taste the alcohol in her mouth as her tongue danced with his.

He groaned as her hand traveled down his body, stopping to rub him through his jeans. "Not here," he managed to get out, taking her hand in his. If she didn’t stop, he was likely to take her up against the frat house.

"I like it here." She grinned up at him, licking the side of his neck then biting his earlobe. "I want you."

"I want you, too, baby," he replied hoarsely. "Just not here."

She pulled back abruptly with a mischievous smile. "I know just the place."

*****

"I can’t go in there!" Spike hissed at her minutes later.

Buffy looked at him, confusion written all over her face. "Why not?"

He gestured at the house as if he shouldn’t have to explain himself. "Because someone could catch us."

"Everybody’s at the party. Nobody will bother us," she promised, pressing herself up against him.

Spike stared from her to the sorority house, uncertainty in his eyes. How the hell did she expect him to think clearly when she was rubbing up against him like that? "Don’t you have someone who’s supposed to wait for everyone to come home? Like a designated sister?"

Buffy scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Yeah, and tonight’s Faith’s turn. Right about now, Faith’s either dancing on some sort of table or in some guy’s room giving him the ride of his life. We have the place to ourselves."

He could feel the resolve slipping from his grasp. God, did those leather pants look good on her. Like a bloody second skin. And if her hand _accidentally_ brushed against his crotch one more time he was sure he’d come right there in his pants.

She knew he’d caved when he let out a long sigh and dropped his head. Looking around to double check that they weren’t being watched, she took his hand in hers and led him up the walk to the house.

*****

Just as she’d predicted, the entire house was empty. Spike couldn’t believe there wasn’t one single person that had stayed home from the party, but really wasn’t that surprised given the reputation of Buffy’s sorority. She led him up to her room which was on the second floor. He was also surprised, and extremely relieved, that she had her own room and bathroom. It was an unusual commodity in the college world and Buffy must be something important in the house.

Buffy made sure she locked the door behind her while Spike took a seat on the bed. The room didn’t look like it belonged to Buffy. She was all woman and always in control; her room, though, was a separate issue all together. He’d never seen a room quite so messy before, and that was a huge understatement. No surface was left uncovered. As he ran a hand over the pink sheets of her bed, he realized she really was just a girl, and a messy one at that. There were clothes, magazines, shoes, and other girly accessories he couldn’t even name strewn about the room.

She went to her closet and returned with a bottle of Jack Daniels and two shot glasses. She poured a drink for both of them.

Spike raised an eyebrow, but accepted the amber liquid. "Bit of a party girl, are we?"

Buffy chuckled. "This is a good night." She gave up on the shot glass, drinking straight from the bottle before handing it to him.

"You and the rest of your sorority."

"Me and the rest of the _campus_ ," she amended. "People come to UC Sunnydale to party."

Spike scoffed before taking a long swig of the whiskey. "And here I thought people went to college to learn."

Buffy pouted. "Oh, did I just ruin some sort of fantasy? Kids excited about school? Please."

"How about kids excited about cleaning their rooms? That’s another fantasy of mine," he replied sarcastically.

Buffy looked around at the mess she’d created just hours before. "I like it like this. I know exactly where everything is."

"Yeah, because you can _see_ where everything is." Spike stared into her lust filled eyes as she moved towards him.

She took the bottle from him before straddling his thighs. "Did you come here to talk or fuck?"

Spike inwardly cringed at her choice of words. But what did he expect? They’d never called it anything but 'having sex' or 'fucking'. To her, they were just sleeping together.

Taking it from her mid-swig, he took one last drink from the bottle noticing it was already more than halfway finished, before placing it on the night table next to her bed. His hands trailed up the back of her thighs, resting on her ass with a slap and pushing her chest into his face. They traveled farther to the straps of her halter, slowly removing her top and discarding it among the other garments on the floor.

His mouth moved to her exposed breasts, latching onto one soft nipple, teasing it with his tongue until he felt the bud harden beneath his teeth. She moaned and arched her back into him, craving his attention on her other breast. Not one to disappoint, Spike moved from one breast to the other, leaving a small trail of kisses in the space between the two mounds, before he found what he was looking for. While his fingers tweaked her already sensitive nipple, his mouth went to work on the other.

Her fingers tangled in his hair, pushing him closer, feeling like he was never close enough. She murmured his name over and over, until his mouth left her breasts and she moaned at the loss of contact. Taking her by the waist, he pushed her down onto the bed, hovering over her. He stared down at her, his eyes glazed over with lust and... But he was kissing her before she could finish the thought.

He moved between her thighs, covering her body with his. She could feel the evidence of his arousal poking into her and if he wasn’t inside her soon she was going to combust. Her fingers snaked between them, finding the buttons she knew so well now and quickly disposing him of his jeans and boots.

As soon as his pants were on the floor, her hand was around his cock, stroking him until he thought he’d come in her hands. "Buffy, baby...I’m gonna...If you keep..."

Buffy rolled out from underneath him, pushing him onto his back. Her hand still pumping his weeping erection, she kissed from his pelvis up the hard planes of his stomach and chest, bringing his black tee with her. Before she could move past his nipples, he had his shirt off and she went back to focusing on his dick.

She licked her lips before engulfing him into the heat of her mouth. He groaned at the contact, glad for the privacy a deserted house offered them. He couldn’t help but watch as her head bobbed up and down, taking him in as far as she could, swallowing around the head all the while running her tongue up and down the underside of his cock. It was truly an art and she had perfected it in the short time they’d known each other.

Her hands that had been pumping the base of his shaft, wandered lower to fondle the two sacks she came in contact with. God, he was so close and trying to hold off for as long as possible. It was heaven being in her mouth, but if she kept swallowing around him like that, he wasn’t going to be able to last much longer.

"So...bloody close..." he murmured, his hands buried in her hair, encouraging her movements without pushing her head down. "Beautiful, baby...bloody great.... _Fuck!_ "

Buffy crawled up his body, licking her lips clean of his spendings, grinning like a Cheshire cat. "Fuck?" Her black leather pants were gone in an instant. "Why didn’t you just say so?"

He tasted himself on her tongue as she kissed him hungrily, her hair falling around them like a veil. Her hand was between them again, stroking him to life. It didn’t take long before he was hard again, and she wasted no time directing him to her dripping pussy.

She let out a long moan as he filled her completely. There had never been anyone who fit her as perfectly as he did.

Her hands gripped his shoulders as he flipped them over, angling himself so that he hit her clit with every up thrust. She whimpered beneath him, begging for release. His lips found hers, kissing her almost to the point of pain, sending a jolt right to her clit. It was rare when he was rough with her like this. Yeah, he was always enthusiastic but normally he liked to take his time and work her into a frenzy a couple times before letting either of them come.

Tonight was different. His thrusts were hard and she knew she’d be sore in the morning, but she didn’t want to stop him or tell him to slow down. But even when he acted like this, he still held her close to him, showing her that no matter what she was more than just a way to get off.

His arms were wrapped underneath her shoulders, and his mouth was still attached to hers, like he couldn’t get enough of her lips and tongue. She was so close, all she needed was a little stimulation. As her hand slipped from his shoulder en route to her clit, he hit her at just the right angle with just enough thrust to send her over the edge with a cry muffled by his mouth.

It only took him a handful more thrusts before his thick juices coated her inside walls. He let out a deep breath, kissing her forehead before collapsing on top of her. She couldn’t help but compare how it felt to have him resting on her, as opposed to Angel’s hulky frame crushing her. Spike was so much more comfortable and she could actually breathe.

As if he could hear what she was thinking, he rolled them to their sides, still inside of her. Not giving himself time to think about what a colossal mistake he was about to make, he pulled the covers over them before pulling her close to him. It was only a matter of minutes before the alcohol they’d drank and the exertion of their coupling sent them into a deep slumber.


	10. Chapter Ten

Chapter Ten- The Morning After

"Buffy, are you awake? I’m going over to Oz’s before the game, but I need those shoes you bor- Oh!" Willow stopped as she entered the room and noticed Buffy wasn’t alone. "Sorry, I didn’t realize Angel stayed here last night. I’ll just get my shoes and be on my way..."

Spike stirred from underneath the covers, looking up to see who was interrupting his sleep. When his eyes adjusted to see Buffy’s red head friend in the room with them, he jumped up into a sitting position, looking back and forth between the still sleeping Buffy and the girl who was searching Buffy’s closet.

As soon as Willow turned around again the smile wiped from her face, her eyebrows practically shooting off her forehead. "Oh, geez, I’m sorry. I thought you were Angel." She tried to look away quickly and rush out of the room, but tripped over a shoe lying carelessly on the floor. Willow hit the carpet with a thud, waking Buffy.

"What the hell..." Buffy muttered sleepily. "Will?" She looked out from under the covers, her eyes no bigger than slits as she adjusted to the light in her eyes.

As if suddenly remembering that Spike was in bed beside her, she shot up next to him. "Will!"

"I-uh, I didn’t...he-Professor Thompson?" Her face was the picture of confusion and embarrassment. And she couldn’t stop staring at Spike with big, round eyes.

Buffy reached on the floor next to her, grabbing a tank top and shorts. As soon as they were on, she jumped out of bed, ushering Willow out of the room. Making sure both bathroom doors were closed, she moved through Willow’s room, sitting her on the bed.

"Listen, Will. I don’t really know how to say this-"

"You’re sleeping with Professor Thompson?"

"Okay, yeah that about sums it up," Buffy agreed, putting her hands on Willow’s shoulders and looking her seriously in the eye. "You can’t tell anyone."

"But, Buffy... What? How?" Willow tried to gather her thoughts that seemed to be ricocheting around in her brain. "He’s not even your teacher."

"I know. It just sort of happened, ya know?"

"I knew you weren’t really studying with him. I just didn’t think-"

"Gee, thanks, Will! I could study if I wanted to," Buffy defended herself. "Which is so _not_ the point! Spike and I-"

"Spike?!"

"It’s a nickname. We haven’t been together that long, only a couple of weeks."

"Are you in love with him?" Willow interrupted.

"What? Why would you ask that?" Buffy exclaimed, hoping Spike couldn’t hear their conversation through the doors separating them.

"Well, I mean why else would you guys risk so much to see each other, otherwise?" Willow shrugged, as if it were obvious.

Too bad it wasn’t obvious to Buffy. These were the very thoughts that plagued her over and over. Did she love him? Could she?

Buffy shook her head to clear her inner tirade and turned back to her friend. "You’re not going to tell anyone right?"

"Of course not!" Willow replied, taking Buffy’s hand. "You’re my best friend no matter who you’re sleeping with."

Buffy sat down next to Willow on the bed, letting out a sigh of relief that she felt like she’d been holding since she and Spike had first gotten together. "You have no idea how good it feels to tell somebody about this!"

"Secrets, secrets are no fun," Willow sung with a giggle.

Buffy laughed, feeling more relaxed than she had in weeks around Willow. Now that everything, well except for the Angel part, was out in the open she could relax and not feel like she had to hide everything from her best friend.

Remembering that Spike was waiting for her in the next room, probably ready to jump out of his own skin with worry, she stood, giving Willow a grateful hug. "Thank God it was you and not Anya!"

*****

"What are you doing?" Buffy asked, closing the bathroom door behind her and leaning against it while she watched Spike fumble with his pant leg.

"What the bloody hell does it look like?"

"It looks like you’re still a little drunk from last night," she replied with a giggle.

Spike finally managed to insert a leg into his jeans. He turned his head up to glare at her. "There is nothing funny about this. I told you we’d fucking get caught! Wanker!" he cursed himself under his breath. "I could lose my bloody job, you know!"

Buffy looked down at her feet guiltily. "I know, but there’s nothing to worry about," she promised. "Willow won’t tell anyone."

"That’s not the point. I’m being careless. Showing up at that party last night." He sighed loudly. "What if someone saw us?"

"Chances are they’d be too drunk to remember it!" She threw up her hands in exasperation. "Someone could find out no matter where we are."

"Yes, but-"

"Your house, your office. Our relationship is fucking risky!" She crossed her arms over her chest angrily, "So, what? Are you saying we should stop seeing each other?"

"No. I don’t know." He closed his eyes, sitting down on the edge of her bed.

Any other normal girl would be upset. They might even cry. But Buffy wasn’t a crier. Instead, she was angry. Angry that he could even suggest an end to their relationship. Relationship, that was the second time she’d used that word to describe them. It was a relationship, but what kind she still hadn’t forced herself to define. Her fists clenched at her sides and her heart beat rapidly, ready to lash out at him whenever he found the words to speak again.

Spike raised his head, looking her in the eye sadly. "No, I don’t want us to end. C’mere." He held out his hand to her, and it only took her a second before she was across the room and in his arms. She stood in between his legs, his arms were wrapped around her waist, his face buried in her cotton covered stomach. "I don’t think I could stay away from you, even if I tried."

Buffy ran her fingers through his spiky hair, holding him to her. She planted a kiss on the top of his head before resting her cheek against his platinum strands.

"I should get going before someone else barges in on us," Spike murmured into her, his warm breath sending tingles down to her center.

"You can’t." She pulled back to look down at him. "You have to hide out in here until everyone’s at the game."

Spike groaned. "Are you sure there won’t be anyone here?"

"On game day? The only thing we like better than keggers is football games."

Spike rolled his eyes. "How are you so perky after drinking so much last night?"

Buffy shrugged her shoulders. "Lots of practice." Before he could comment on her lifestyle, she leaned down to capture his lips in a kiss. "And I don’t hear you complaining about a hangover," she added when the kiss ended.

Spike’s hands ran up her back then down over the curve of her ass. "After Dru died I got really friendly with Jack."

Buffy couldn’t think of anything to say so instead she remained silent, her hands caressing his shoulders and arms. "So, we have a couple of hours before you can leave. What do you suggest we do?"

"Definitely stay in bed." He smirked at her. "I’m completely knackered. Someone kept me up late last night."

*****

After checking the upstairs bedrooms and bathrooms, Buffy made her way down onto the main floor. The game would be starting any minute and it seemed as though all the girls had cleared out of the house already.

Usually on game day, the process of the sorority girls primping and getting themselves ready could be heard throughout the campus. It wasn’t unusual for a fight or two to break out between the sisters in the rush to shower and dress. But that morning, neither Buffy nor Spike could say they’d heard a single sound come from outside Buffy’s bedroom. After the tension of Willow’s intrusion wore off, they’d spent the better part of two hours in a competition of who could give the other the best climax.

Buffy was pronounced winner.

The main floor, from what Buffy could see, was just as empty as the two floors above it. As much as she didn’t want Spike to leave, this would be their only opportunity for him to get out of the house undetected.

As she turned to head back upstairs, she noticed Harmony peering out from her room. The ditzy blonde opened the door slightly wider, slipping through the tight space she’d left herself.

"Buffy!" Harmony screeched in surprise when she finally noticed the other girl standing there. Her hand still on the doorknob, she slammed her bedroom door shut loudly and approached Buffy.

"What are you still doing here?" they asked in unison.

Harmony lifted her button nose in the air haughtily. "Well, as president I was doing my job and making sure all the sisters and pledges were out of the house and at the game." She crossed her arms over her scoop neck tank top. "Which is exactly where you should be."

Buffy wasn’t scared of the power Harmony thought she wielded and constantly threw in everyone’s faces. "Got a late start. I’ll get there."

"As Pledge Master you should have been the first one there to greet the pledges," Harmony reminded her. "Hurry up and get dressed!"

Buffy rolled her eyes, but did as she was told. Anything to get her away from Harmony.

Spike was waiting for her by the door when she got back. "Are all the other chits gone, or do we need to hide up here some more?" he asked with a smirk, reaching for her.

Buffy evaded his grasp, still annoyed from her encounter with Harmony and not exactly in the mood for more sex. "Get dressed, I’ll be out in ten minutes." She stalked into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. "And keep the door locked!" she yelled before turning on the water.

*****

Fortunately, Harmony was gone by the time they exited Buffy’s room. The campus was practically deserted as they left Theta house, most of the students probably at the football game or still in bed.

They’d only walked a short distance when Buffy stopped. "So, I guess I’ll just see you during the week," she said, turning to walk in the direction of the football field.

Spike grabbed her hand before she even made a second step, pulling her back to him. "You invite me to spend the night and don’t even walk me to my car?" he asked, sounding insulted. "I thought you had better manners than that, Ms. Summers."

Buffy rolled her eyes, trying not to smile at his playfulness. "You never walk me to my car," she retorted, raising an eyebrow.

"Well that’s because you always leave me too bloody tired to move," he responded and she couldn’t help but laugh. His fingers entwined with hers, tugging her towards the faculty parking lot. "C’mon, kitten, it’s practically on the way."

Another eye roll. "It is not," she argued, even though she was already following him.

The parking lot was full of empty cars. She reveled in how natural it felt to hold his hand in public, even if no one could see it. Just the fact that he took the chance on someone catching them to do something as small as hold her hand said something.

When they reached Spike’s Yukon, he pressed her up against the side of it, his free hand holding onto her hip.

"Spike," Buffy protested, not really putting up much of a fight. "I have to get to the game."

He peppered small kisses all over her lips. "Then I’ll come with you."

"You can’t."

His hand traveled up her side under her top as he pulled back to look at her. "We’ll just say we ran into each other." He dropped a kiss to her nose. "You’re a clever girl. Think of something."

Buffy dropped her eyes to the floor, training her gaze on their still entwined hands. "No, I mean you can’t because I’m meeting Angel there."

His free hand was now palming her breast as he moved their connected hands up to her chin, lifting her head to look at him once again. "Then stay here with me."

Her protest was muffled as he started kissing her again, and she felt her will slipping away from her. The game was such a frivolous event, she didn’t even know why she went, but she was expected to be there. To smile and cheer and be a good example for the pledges. And if that weren’t enough of a reason, she’d promised Angel to meet him there.

A nagging voice in the back of her mind reminded her that this was what Angel had wanted. He had gotten her into this mess. Her feelings for Spike were all a result of his selfishness. Angel had forced her into this situation, a situation Buffy no longer knew how to handle. How could she be part of a plan to have Spike fired after all that they’d been through together?

But she couldn’t blame Angel for her cruel intentions, or the way her affair with Spike had started. She was in a way just as guilty for whatever may happen as Angel.

All thoughts of Angel disappeared as she felt Spike pushing her back into his SUV. She’d been so consumed in her thoughts that she hadn’t even realized he’d opened the door until he was shutting it behind them.

Spike sat back in the leather bucket seat, bringing her into his lap. The hand that had been previously entwined with hers, cupped the back of her head as his other hand moved beneath her skirt. He was already hard and aching to be inside her.

Moving over him to straddle his thighs, Buffy reached over the side of his chair, pulling the lever to recline. Spike let out a surprised gasp into her mouth and she smiled against his lips before pulling up.

Spike groaned at the loss of her lips, but turned his attention to ripping off her thong. Buffy was almost grateful for that, it would have been incredibly uncomfortable to sit through the end of the game in wet panties.

For the first time since entering the car, Buffy surveyed the surroundings. She’d been in the car before, but never the backseat. It made the vehicle look so much bigger. What was it with guys and cars? Either it had to be huge or fast or both.

The windows were tinted very dark, and Buffy hoped that Spike had noticed that before deciding to take her in the backseat. He was getting careless, last night being a perfect example, and she wasn’t so great at being the responsible one.

Her attention shifted from the windows to Spikes lips surrounding her nipple. Her top and bra were pushed down and he was sitting up for better access. "Finally got your attention." He pulled back at the same time as he thrust up into her. "Bloody blow to a man’s ego."

"Your... _ego_ is big...enough," she ground out, her hips rotating over his slowly.

Spike smirked up at her. He wanted to go slow, keep her there with him, but he couldn’t help thrusting even faster. His face was buried in her neck, sucking on the spot that drove her mad while his fingers found their way to the sensitive nub between her legs.

She collapsed against him, crying out his name as her orgasm took over her body. Finally letting himself, he pounded up into her as his hands gripped her waist, guiding her movements over his cock as he rode out his release.


	11. Chapter Eleven

Chapter Eleven- Rich Girls

“Where the hell have you been?” Angel hissed at her as she slid down next to him on the bleacher.

“I wasn’t feeling well this morning,” she lied. “I drank too much last night.”

“Since when do you get a hangover?” he asked in disbelief.

Buffy could kick herself for always bragging about being able to hold her liquor. She could keep up with any frat boy on campus and not feel the slightest nausea or headache the next morning. “Maybe it was something I ate,” she replied with a shrug of her shoulders.

Angel took his eyes off the game to stare at her. “And what the hell happened to you last night?”

“I wasn’t feeling well,” she repeated. What was this, twenty fucking questions? “So I just went back to Theta house.”

“It would have been nice of you to let me know before I searched the whole damn house for you,” Angel said with a frown. “Who’d you leave with?”

“I left by myself. I don’t need a fucking chaperone to walk me home, Angel.”

Angel let out a sigh, clearly ending the conversation. He did that a lot when it came to a point where he had nothing to say. “I was hoping you were sealing the deal with Thompson.”

“Sealing the deal? What, are we a couple of gangsters?” She rolled her eyes at him. “And no, I haven’t yet. Sorry to disappoint you.”

“What the fuck’s taking so long, Buff?” He took out a cigarette, lighting it and taking a drag. Buffy gladly accepted when he offered it to her, needing something to calm her nerves. “He’s not exactly known as a prude around this campus.”

“His fiancée just died, Angel,” she explained, exasperated.

“Perfect. He’s on the rebound. You’re there to give him what he needs.”

Buffy shook her head. “He’s not like that.”

“He’s a man. He’s like that,” Angel assured her. “Don’t forget about dinner on Friday.”

She was surprised, but grateful, for his abrupt change of topics. “Dinner?”

“You. Me. Our parents. Expensive restaurant.”

Buffy closed her eyes, slapping her forehead in frustration. “That’s this weekend?” she groaned. “I totally forgot.”

“Have a hot date?” he asked wryly.

“Very funny. No, I’m just not looking forward to seeing either one of my parents.”

Angel turned his attention back to the game in front of them, which by looking at the scoreboard Buffy saw was almost over. She spied the pledges sitting together below them and Anya, Willow and Faith sitting together in front of the pledges. She hoped her friends had covered for her in her absence. Or at least that Willow had, knowing that Faith and Anya were never eager to take on other people’s responsibilities.

Buffy let out a low sigh, not looking forward to the upcoming weekend.

*****

“And where were you today?” Anya asked, falling into step beside Buffy on their way back into the sorority house.

Buffy resisted the urge to groan, tired of being questioned by everyone. First Harmony, then Angel and now Anya. Wasn’t a person entitled to some privacy?

“I wasn’t feeling well.” She’d learned from past experiences that keeping the same lie was much easier than making up many different ones and having to remember which lies you told to which people.

“Is that some sort of code for being too tired and lazy to make it to the game?”

“What? No!”

“You better hope Harmony doesn’t find you before she cools off. She was breathing fire at the game when she didn’t see you.”

“What’s the big deal? I can’t miss one game without-“

Harmony appeared behind the two girls, looking every bit as pissed off as Anya had warned her. “What’s the _big deal_?” She placed her hands on her hips angrily. “The big deal is that we tell the pledges that it’s Theta tradition to attend every game. And that it’s against the rules to go and break that tradition. _You’re_ supposed to be their leader and set an example.”

“So nobody’s allowed to get sick in this house? That’s just-”

“Whatever, Buffy. You broke the rules and made all of us look stupid in front of the pledges. I’ll be watching you very closely from now on.” With that, Harmony turned on her very expensive heel and marched out of the room.

Buffy stared after her in disbelief. She turned to Anya, her mouth still agape. “Can you believe her?”

Anya shook her head. “Harmony’s right.”

Buffy couldn’t hide her surprise that her friend was siding with their much hated president.

“What are you doing Buffy? This sorority used to be your life and now you just blow us off? You had to know there would be consequences.”

“Anya-”

“I’ll talk to you later,” Anya cut her off, stalking off towards the kitchen.

Buffy was still fuming when Willow entered the house. She didn’t notice the redhead, however, until Willow touched her arm.

“You okay?”

“Fine, why?”

Willow shrugged. “Because you had this confused look on your face and I called your name a bunch of times to which you were completely oblivious.” She grinned. “Not thinking lusty thoughts are you?”

Buffy rolled her eyes, thankful that her friend managed to put a smile on her face. “Unfortunately, no. Anya and Harmony are pissed at me for coming to the game late.”

“Don’t worry about it, I covered for you. Told them you had major cramps. You up for some shopping?”

“I don’t know, Wills. Anya seemed pretty angry...”

Willow rolled her eyes. “She’s just mad because Harmony made her inform the pledges about attending football games.” She leaned closer to Buffy and whispered, “She was supposed to meet Xander Harris by the bathrooms.”

Buffy laughed, not surprised that her friend was angry over a lack of sex.

“I’m sure all will be forgiven if you buy her a frappaccino at the mall,” Willow assured her. “Besides, don’t you need a new belt?”

*****

“Unh!”

Spike’s lips swallowed the rest of her long moan. “Sh, baby, or we’ll get kicked out.”

She didn’t think she would be able to keep quiet so she pulled his head back down to hers, enjoying the feel of his tongue invading her mouth. His hips slammed up to meet hers, trying his best to keep from pounding her into the wall. He really did not want to get caught. That would lead to too many questions, most likely from the Sunnydale police department.

Buffy could not believe her good luck. She hadn’t even wanted to go on this shopping trip, but now she was glad she didn’t pass it up. Her friends had left her to search for shoes for the formal, and she had needed to use the restroom which was in the mens’ department of Bloomingdale’s. She spotted Spike walking into the fitting room and before he’d been able to get his first shirt on she snuck up behind him scaring the shit out of him.

It wasn’t long before he had her up against the stall, her legs wrapped around his waist for support and in case anyone felt the need to look under the door. Fortunately for them, the fitting area had been mostly deserted.

“Spike,” Buffy breathed quietly as he rubbed her clit.

“That’s it, baby,” he breathed back, burying his face in her neck. He couldn’t hold off any longer, spilling himself into her willing body seconds before she clamped down around his cock, biting her bottom lip so hard she drew blood to keep from crying out.

Spike dropped onto the seat in the dressing room, bringing Buffy down with him, still connected.

“You have a thing for sex in public places,” she commented with a grin.

“Well, yeah.” She could have sworn she saw him blush. God, he was adorable. “Is that a problem for you?”

Buffy shook her head immediately. “Not at all. We just have to be careful.”

Spike sighed and Buffy knew she shouldn’t have said anything to ruin the moment. “Yeah, we do,” he agreed.

“It’s just, sometimes I worry what would happen if we got caught...” she trailed off, her eyes leaving his to stare at the shirts strewn about the small area.

“You don’t have to worry, pet. I wouldn’t let anything happen to you.”

Her head shot up, her eyes meeting his in confusion. “Me? You’d lose your job!”

“And your name would be dragged through the mud as my dirty mistress. Could never let that happen.”

As his hand reached up to graze her cheek, Buffy knew the shock was evident on her face. She had never felt more surprised by anyone in her life. He was completely unconcerned with what might happen to him, that he could possibly lose a job he lived for and instead worried over her getting a bad reputation. It wasn’t the first time this man had shocked her with his devotion to her, she just wasn’t used to it. And she had to admit, it felt nice.

*****

“So, I told them I so did _not_ ditch them! Since when is it required that I go to the movies with them every Tuesday?”

Spike chuckled, handing her a soda and sitting down next to her on his couch. “I think you’re supposed to do it voluntarily. Some people actually want to hang out with their friends.”

Buffy glared at him. “Not helping.” She sighed, taking a pretzel from the bag on her lap then continuing with her rant. “It’s not like I did it on purpose, I completely forgot. Which is an excuse I’ve been using a lot lately, I know!” She turned on him, pointing a finger in his face. “You know, this is all your fault!”

“Like I bloody well know your schedule. Should I keep you aware of your hair and nail appointments as well?” he asked sarcastically.

“And after Saturday they’re really ready to kill me.” She looked at him sheepishly. “What? I called them back.”

“Yeah, five hours later.”

“If I remember correctly, you were keeping me very busy for those five hours.”

“I’m happy to take up your time, Princess, I just don’t want Red getting bent out of shape and ratting us out to your mates.”

“She wouldn’t do that,” Buffy told him confidently. “Besides, none of them are in any position to air my dirty laundry.”

Spike raised an eyebrow. “What? Are you lot involved in some sort of sweat shop that makes knock off merchandise?”

“Ew, no.” Buffy rolled her eyes. “Let’s just say they all have bad shit going on.”

“You don’t have to tell me,” he told her, sensing that she was on the fence. “But your secrets are safe with me.”

“It’s nothing too bad,” she assured him, suddenly wanting to tell him all her secrets, but resigning herself to stick to her friends’. “Who should I start with? I guess I’ll save the best for last.

Willow’s really not good at lying, she starts stuttering and blushing-it’s not a pretty picture. But she is super smart and writes peoples’ term papers for them for a hundred dollars each. Sometimes more if the paper is long.

Faith is always in trouble with Dean Snyder. She’s the cause of almost every fight and brawl on campus. Just last month she put a guy in the hospital for slapping her ass at a frat party.”

“That was her?” Spike asked in shock. He certainly hadn’t expected this when he had asked about her friends. Faith looked like a tough broad, but that kid had been in his English 101 two years ago and was at least twice the size of her.

“Yep. Not only does she fight, but she sleeps with just about anyone. Professors, janitors, pizza delivery boys. Whoever's around when she gets the itch. Her latest conquest is the new janitor in the theater building.”

“Cliff?” Spike asked incredulously. “He just go out of jail.”

“That’s how Faith operates, she never does anything the normal way. Last year she was fucking Professor Wood in the sociology department.”

Spike’s head was spinning. Could she be talking about the same sorority girls that looked like they still had sleep overs to give each other manicures and facials? And she hadn’t even gotten to Anya, yet.

“Which leaves me with Anya. Besides sleeping with only the richest athletes on campus, her father owns the clothing line Anyanka.” Spike nodded, letting her know he was familiar with the brand. “He’s into hardcore gambling with the stockholder’s profits and has three or four sweat shops in California and Mexico. Anya loves money and doesn’t see anything wrong with what her father’s doing. She’s the treasurer of our sorority and gambles the money with some high rollers in Vegas.”

“And nobody notices?”

“Of course they do, but nobody says anything because so far she’s only made us tons of money. Not that any of us really need it, but campus funding isn’t a lot.”

“Is that all?” Spike asked sarcastically. He wanted to ask where Buffy stood in her friends’ ring of deceit, but didn’t have the heart to learn anything like that about her. Well, other than the fact that she liked to fuck professors.

“That’s about the gist of it. I mean there’s small stuff here and there, but basically yeah.” She sat back, munching on the pretzels she was currently snacking on as if they weren’t talking about incredibly illegal activities.

“That’s a lot of bad shit, Buffy.”

She shrugged her shoulders. “Yeah, I know, but they’re my friends.”

As simple as that, the conversation was over.

“Are your parents coming this weekend?” he asked, hoping to change the topic towards something that he had been wanting to talk to her about.

“Yeah, how’d you know about it?”

“I do get notices about things like this, warning the professors to steer clear of the campus for the weekend.” He smirked at her teasingly.

“So, the teachers dread Parents’ Weekend just like the rest of us?”

“You’re not excited to see your parents, kitten?”

“No,” she replied simply.”They haven’t attended any of these ‘school functions’ since... Actually they never attended any of my school functions so why do they have to come now?”

“Are they the really embarrassing sort?”

“Only if you go home with them,” she scoffed. “Mom’s all about appearances. She just got back from the ‘spa’ and wants to make with the happy family act.”

“The ‘spa’?”

“Yeah, code for rehab in New York. She’s an alcoholic, has been ever since I was eleven and realized it wasn’t normal for mommy to drive me to school already drunk at eight in the morning,” she told him bitterly. “She tells her country club friends that she’s been in Europe vacationing at some spa, it’s a different place every time, so she doesn’t have to tell anyone she’s a drunk.”

“Country club. So I’m guessing you’re from...”

“Beverly Hills.” Spike’s mouth dropped open in shock. Not that he hadn’t noticed everything Buffy owned was designer, but Beverly Hills was the kind of place you knew about but never knew anyone from.

“What? Everyone’s from somewhere.”

“Where are your friends from?” he asked, already knowing they’d all be from somewhere equally posh.

“Anya’s from Hollywood, not too far away from where I grew up. Willow’s parents live in Sunnydale, they’re not rich or anything just living comfortably. And Faith’s from New York.”

Placing her snack on the coffee table, she moved into Spike’s lap, kissing his lips lightly. “I won’t have much time for you with them here, though,” she told him with a pout. It drove him crazy, and she always used it to her advantage.

“Then I guess we’ll have to use the time we do have wisely.” Effortlessly he had her in his arms and was already striding towards his bedroom.


	12. Chapter Twelve

Chapter Twelve- Harvard is in Massachusetts

“What’s it like?” Spike asked as he drew lazy circles across her back.

“What?” Buffy murmured laying on her stomach in his bed, completely sated.

“Growing up in Beverly Hills.”

She rolled her eyes. “You’re still on that?”

“It’s not everyday you meet a real life millionaire.”

“I’m not a millionaire,” she replied off-handedly. Money was never something she concerned herself with, and she supposed it was because it had never been denied to her. “My dad is.”

“I don’t see the difference.”

“Yeah, I usually don’t either,” she said with a laugh. “Well I don’t have anything else to compare it to, but it’s probably just like everyone else’s life except a lot more exaggerated. Everyone’s trying to live the Stepford existence, or at least appear to be. It’s sickening really.”

“And you’re a real rebel driving around in your BMW convertible.”

“I like nice things, that doesn’t mean I flaunt it. You didn’t even know I had money until I told you today!” She flipped over onto her back so she could look up at him. “Last weekend Faith spilt beer all over my four hundred dollar belt, and I didn’t really care. Money isn’t important to me.”

“Never is when you have it,” he reminded her, leaning foward to kiss her forehead. “You hungry?”

She nodded innocently.

“Want to go get something?”

“I think I’m good here,” she responded, reaching under the sheet.

“I don’t think I have much around-“ he stopped mid-sentence as he felt her soft hand wrap around his hardening erection.

She smiled as she watched his eyes close in pleasure. His breathing was becoming labored and she moved to hover over him as he fell back against the pillows. Her pinky finger reached out to stroke the skin between his shaft and anus as she stroked his length torturously slow. He moaned, thrusting his hips up at the unexpected caress.

Just as he thought he would come in her hand, she abandoned his throbbing cock. He let out a wail in protest which she kissed away. Her hands traveled up his body, pinching his nipples roughly before wrapping around his neck and pulling him over her.

As she positioned him at her entrance, he gazed down at her wanting desperately for the words he kept bottled inside to be able to tumble across his lips. There was no more denying it, he was absolutely in love with the girl beneath him. She’d tell him he was crazy, though, that they hadn’t been together nearly long enough for him to be in love with her.

He was now thrusting in and out of her at a pace that scared him. He hadn’t realized how fast his hips were moving until he focused on the screams of pleasure passing her swollen lips. Afraid of hurting her, he tried to slow down.

“Don’t!” she protested, thrusting up just as fast and hard as he had been just a moment before. “Harder.”

He wondered if she felt the same way about him. Sometimes he could tell in a look or a touch, but others it was like she shut down and wouldn’t let him in. As if she were afraid of what was happening between them. Maybe it had something to do with her relationship with Angel. He didn’t know why they were still together, especially since she was spending all her free time with Spike, but chose not to push the situation and just be happy she chose to be with him.

She came around him faster than usual, loving his uncharacteristic roughness. Happy that she was satisfied, he allowed himself release.

Usually he liked to remain connected with her or at least hold her in his arms until he felt cramped, but instead he rolled away from her heading into the bathroom to collect himself. He could feel her confusion and hurt as her eyes bore holes into his back, but his emotions were raging inside him and he was afraid of losing control over them.

The last thing he wanted to do was scare her off by admitting something she wasn’t ready to hear.

*****

Buffy stared at her menu, hiding her face in hope that everyone at the table would ignore her. It seemed to be working well so far. Her father had barely greeted her before settling into conversation with Angel and Mr. O’Toole. Their mothers were comparing notes, both dropping names to out-class the other.

She was contemplating ordering the shrimp or chicken when the waiter approached with their drinks. Apparently everyone else was ready because they began placing their orders with the thin man. Still not having reached a decision, Buffy was glad Angel always had some special request that would take an extra minute and give her more time.

It took her a moment to realize Angel had ordered for her when the waiter passed her and moved onto her father. It wasn’t unusual for him to do that and normally didn’t bother her, but tonight it did. She sighed, handing her menu to the waiter and taking a sip of her wine.

She had been surprised when her mother had ordered a tonic instead of a _gin_ and tonic. It wouldn’t last, Buffy knew, but at least she wouldn’t have to worry about any embarrassing drunken moments this weekend. Not from her mother, anyway.

Her thoughts, as they did lately, drifted to Spike. She wondered what he was doing while she was sitting through this torture- probably grading papers or watching one of his stupid television programs. She wondered what it would be like to go out to dinner with him. To go out anywhere in public with him.

Her attention returned to the table when she heard her name mentioned.

“You’re graduating this year, aren’t you?” Hank Summers asked Angel.

“He sure is,” Edward O’Toole answered proudly before Angel could. “With a 4.0, too.”

“Yes, sir,” Angel agreed. Buffy could feel his eyes pass her before he looked to her father. “There’s still one more semester, but I’m working my hardest to keep it that way.”

“Buffy tells me you’re going to be a lawyer,” Hank continued. “With grades like that you could get into school anywhere in the country.”

“He’s going to Harvard,” Edward answered again for his son. “Just like the rest of our family has.”

“After I graduate we’ll be back on the West coast,” Angel told the man he looked at as his future father-in-law. “I’ll be working for my father’s firm in Los Angeles.”

Buffy frowned. Ever since she had started dating Angel he’d talked about attending Harvard, but she was just now realizing to achieve his goal they would have to move across the country. She wasn’t exactly sure what state Harvard was in, but she was pretty sure it was cold in the winter and didn’t it snow there?

“..getting married in my second year of law school. Once I’m adjusted to the course load.”

Her head snapped up to look at Angel, who looked like he was receiving an the Pulitzer Prize. Married? He hadn’t even proposed to her, but he knew when they were going to tie the knot? She was tempted to ask if he already had a date picked out, but held her tongue.

“Sounds like you have everything planned out,” Hank said and Buffy hoped that was annoyance she heard in his voice. Instead, he broke out into a smile and offered his hand to Angel.

Angel took the proffered hand, shaking it firmly the grin never leaving his face. “Thank you, Mr. Summers.”

“Please, call me Hank.” He turned to Buffy, placing a hand on her shoulder. “You’re lucky to have a man like Angel,” he told her, giving her shoulder a squeeze. “With your grades you’d be lucky to get a job waiting tables never mind something substantial.” He chuckled to himself, settling back into his seat with a satisfied smile on his face obviously content with the man his daughter had chosen.

Angel draped an arm over her shoulder, hugging her into his side. “No wife of mine is going to work, anyway. I want Buffy to be able to take care of our kids and not worry about a job.”

Buffy felt like he was smothering her. Now they had kids? She wasn’t even sure she wanted kids, but he’d penciled them into their future without even talking to her about it.

The waiter returned with their dinners, and Buffy sighed in exasperation when he placed filet mignon in front of her.

*****

“That was a lovely restaurant,” Joyce Summers said as they exited the building. “It was so nice meeting you,” she told Angel’s parents. “I’m sure we’ll be seeing you tomorrow.”

Buffy felt like she was twelve again as she was ignored while Angel set up dinners and lunches without making sure it fit into her schedule. He proceeded to say good night to his parents while she turned to hers.

Joyce hugged her daughter close, whispering into her ear, “He’s a keeper.”

Buffy rolled her eyes quickly before pasting a smile on her face as her mother released her. Hank was on his cell phone, as he had been through much of dinner, and simply waved before heading to his car with Joyce trailing behind him.

Angel wrapped an arm around her again. “You wanna come back to my place?”

Buffy carefully extracted herself from his embrace once they arrived at his car. “I don’t think so, I’m not feeling well.”

“Oh, come on, Buff,” Angel complained, sliding into his seat. “We haven’t had sex in weeks!”

_Well, yeah, because you’re English professor who you want me to sleep with isn’t leaving me any extra energy for you!_

“I know, but I really do have a headache. Don’t you after listening to my father talk the entire night?”

“No.” Angel sped up his car, obviously frustrated that she wanted to go home early.

She watched the speedometer nervously as it passed seventy. “Angel!”

“What?” he asked anrgily.

“Could you slow down a bit?”

“I think we’ve slowed down quite a bit, don’t you?”

“What?” She couldn’t believe he was talking about their relationship in metaphors while breaking the speed limit and taking dangerously sharp turns. “What the fuck is your problem?”

“My girlfriend doesn’t want to sleep with me, I’d say that’s a big fucking problem!”

“You’re crazy. I have a headache, that’s all.”

She watched as they sped through the campus streets and as he passed her sorority house. Neither of them spoke until he pulled into a spot in the parking lot for his dorm. She opened the door angrily, slamming it shut and hurrying away.

Angel grabbed her arm roughly, pulling her back but not letting go. She tried to break free of his hold, but he had a strong grip on her. “Angel, let me go,” she said calmly. She’d never seen him like this before and it was scaring her.

“What’s going on, Buffy?”

“I have a headache,” she repeated slowly. “I’m going home.”

Angel sighed, breaking out of whatever crazy state he’d been in and released her arm. “I’ll drive you back.”

Buffy shook her head, already inching away from him. “I can walk.” He started after her, but she shook her head again. “Alone.” Before he could reply she was practically jogging down the path towards her house.


	13. Chapter Thirteen

Chapter 13

“Buffy?” Spike asked in surprise when he opened his door. “What are you doing here, pet?” 

After the scene with Angel, she’d rushed to her car not wanting to be anywhere else but with Spike. “I managed to get away,” she said softly, her usual confidence lessened from her encounter with Angel. “Am I interrupting something?” 

Spike shook his head, opening the door wider and pulling her inside. “No, of course not. Just surprised is all.” 

As soon as the door was closed, she was in his arms. For the first time, it was just a hug. She wasn’t pressing her body up against his in need, just comfort. He could feel the change and wrapped his arms around her petite body tightly, wondering what brought on this sudden change in her. 

“Is everything alright, Buffy?” 

She nodded against his chest. “Yeah why?” she murmured. 

“Because you’re acting...different,” he said slowly. 

She pulled back, her eyes flashing angrily. “Why? Because I didn’t come barreling in here ready for sex?” 

“Well, yeah,” he replied with a chuckle, hoping to lighten the situation, but only making her angrier. 

“Okay, fine,” she declared, her hands racing down his body. She took a firm hold of his cock, stroking him through his sweat pants. “Let’s go.” Wrapping her other arm around his neck, she pulled him to her roughly. Her kisses were fast and hard and her hand was rubbing him almost to the point of pain. 

Spike tried to get her to slow down, but she wouldn’t. Sucking his bottom lip into her mouth, she bit down a little too hard. 

“Buffy, stop.” 

He pulled his head out of her reach, taking hold of her arms to still her movements. The flinch of pain didn’t go unnoticed. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you,” he said, removing his hands guiltily. 

Buffy looked away from him. “You didn’t.” 

He reached out to touch her again, resting his hand on the exact spot that was still sore from Angel’s strong grip. She flinched again, this time pulling away from him completely. Spike’s eyes narrowed angrily. “Did someone else?” 

“No, it’s nothing,” she assured him, grateful for the coverage her long sleeved dress was offering her. 

Spike pulled a reluctant Buffy back into his arms, peppering kisses across her face and neck. “Baby, if something happened you can tell me.” 

Instead of answering him she started kissing him again, slower than before. Her arms rested on his biceps, hoping to distract him enough so he’d forget or at least stop asking questions. What happened with Angel had been an accident, and she knew Spike wouldn’t understand. 

His hands slid down to the hem of her dress, rubbing the soft skin of her outer thighs. Getting lost in his touch, her own hands drifted down to the waistband of his pants. Before her wandering hands could get much lower, he was pulling her dress over her head and tossing it out of reach. 

Quick as a rabbit, his hand was on her wrist stilling her as she tried to wriggle out of his grasp. He inspected her entire right arm, stopping when he reached just above her elbow. Her skin was red and starting to turn purple. The bruise was big, the size of a man’s palm. 

“What the hell happened, Buffy?” Spike asked, his voice loud and angry. 

“It was an accident,” she told him. “You wouldn’t understand.” 

“Why don’t you explain it to me?” 

“I was walking away to go home and Angel-“ 

“Son of a bitch!” Spike exclaimed releasing her wrist. He paced in front of her, his jaw clenching and unclenching, his hands balled into fists. 

“He was just trying to stop me, he didn’t mean to hurt me,” Buffy insisted. “Spike!” she yelled when he didn’t stop pacing and ranting. 

He finally stilled, turning to face her. “He shouldn’t touch you like that.” 

“You’re right and he apologized for it.” He was visibly calmer now as she approached him, wrapping her arms around his waist. “I don’t want to talk about Angel. I came here to be with you.” 

Spike nodded leaning in for a soft, chaste kiss. Bringing his hands down to cup her ass, he lifted her into his arms. She wrapped her legs around his middle as he carried her into his bedroom. As soon as he laid her on the mattress, his sweat pants were shed at his feet leaving him naked before her. 

He wanted to take things slow, to show her how gentle a man could be and leave her wondering what the hell she ever saw in that oversized wanker. Gently removing her pumps and placing them on the floor beneath the bed he pulled her to a sitting position, moving behind her to trail kisses down her exposed back. 

A shiver ran down her spine as his mouth worked on the skin of her lower back. His hands snaked around to her front to cup her bare breasts. They fit perfectly in his hands, her nipples hardening from his attention. She moaned as his thumbs flicked over the hardened nubs, arching back into him. 

“God, Spike...” she breathed. 

He waited for her to finish, but no words left her perfect mouth. He knew what she wanted to say, because it was exactly what he wanted to hear. “Yeah, baby?” 

But she didn’t finish. Craning her neck back, her lips captured his, her tongue invading his mouth to tangle with his. She moaned into his mouth as he removed his hands from her aching breasts and brought them down to her waist. Turning her, he pushed her back gently against the mattress. 

Spike continued to disrobe her, easing her panties down her legs and caressing her with his hands as he did. She couldn’t help but think that he was making love to her, and she found the thought less disturbing than it had been before as she let herself get lost to his touch.

*****

Hours later she was wrapped in his arms, her head resting on his chest listening to him breathe and his heart beat. “Spike?” she called softly, hoping he was still awake. 

“Yeah?” he responded groggily. 

Her fingers traced circles over the skin of his abdomen. “Do you ever think about the future?” 

“Doesn’t everyone?” 

“What do you think about?” 

“About getting married and having kids. Retiring and moving to Hawaii to spend all my time surfing.” 

“You surf?” she interrupted. 

He chuckled. “Yeah, all the time.” 

“I didn’t know.” 

“Now you do.” His hand moved to play in her long, blonde tresses. 

“Do you think about what you want your wife to be like?” 

“Yeah, but it changes depending on who I’m thinking of,” he told her. “I had a different idea of a wife when I was with Cecily than I did with Dru.” 

“Do you want your wife to work?” 

“If she wants to, I guess. Doesn’t really matter to me,” he replied off-handedly. 

“Do you have enough money for her not to?” 

“Yeah, I make a pretty good salary. Where are all these questions coming from?” 

Buffy shrugged. “Just curious. What was Drusilla going to be?” 

“She was studying to be an English professor.” 

“Like you,” she replied sadly. He and his former seemed to have much more in common than they did. Buffy could barely pass English and they were both experts on the subject. 

As much as Angel had annoyed her with his claims on her future, she felt certain that he would always take care of her. With Spike she could be who she wanted, but right now she had no idea who that was. Angel was perfectly happy with a doting, stay at home wife but would Spike be? He surfed, read poetry, taught thousands of students-he was an intellectual if she’d ever met one and she was far from studious. She wondered how long before he grew tired of being with a woman who probably wouldn’t finish college. 

“Buffy?” 

He waited until she turned her head to look up at him. “Don’t worry too much about the future,” he said, taking her hand in his and resting it against his chest. “Things can happen to change it, no matter how much you plan for it.” 

The look in his eyes told her he was thinking of both his broken engagements. Life had thrown him two huge curve balls and he was still standing on two solid feet. She needed to start thinking about where she’d be without Angel or Spike to rely on. Right now that left her back where she began, with her parents. At twenty years old she had nothing to show for her two and a half years at UC Sunnydale besides two incredibly fucked up relationships. 

“You’re right,” she said finally, moving to straddle his waist. “Besides, the present’s not so bad.” 

She could tell he agreed with her.


	14. Chapter Fourteen

** Chapter 14 – The Formal **

Spike spotted her before she saw him. He had arrived at the hotel in downtown Sunnydale with the other chaperones fifteen minutes before the formal started-and spent the next half hour after that eying the entrance of the banquet room. The room was already filled with college students in formalwear. Buffy stood out from the rest, looking gorgeous in a long turquoise gown. A slit up the front of the gown showed off her tanned legs and Spike could feel his arousal building as he thought of those legs wrapped around him.

He shook his head to clear the wicked thoughts running through his mind and realized someone was speaking to him. “I’m sorry, what did you say?” Spike suppressed a groan when Buffy turned around to hug someone entering the room. Her dress dipped dangerously low down her back, making the sexy dress almost unbearable.

Jenny Calendar laughed. “Oh, nothing important. I can see you have other things on your mind!”

Spike couldn’t tell his colleague and friend how right she was.

*****

Buffy entered the banquet room with her friends and their dates. The group of eight had rented a limousine to chauffeur them to and from the formal. It wasn’t a far ride to the hotel, but none of them planned to be in any state to drive at the end of the night.

Buffy groaned as she saw Harmony approaching her and Angel with someone she had never seen before. At that same moment, she noticed Spike standing with a female who Buffy assumed was another chaperone. UCSD was a large campus, and the woman didn’t look young enough to be a student so she had to be a professor.

Spike looked amazing in his suit. Yes, she saw him in a suit on pretty much a daily basis, but tonight he was wearing a much more formal black suit with a black button down shirt and tie. The ensemble contrasted perfectly with his fair skin and hair, and it took Buffy a moment to realize she was staring.

Harmony was draped over the man who Buffy assumed was her date and looking at her expectantly. “What?”

Harmony rolled her eyes at the other blonde. “I was just commenting on what a fabulous job the new sisters did this year setting up the formal.”

“Oh, yeah. Everything looks amazing,” Buffy replied, talking about more than just the decorations.

Buffy looked back to the spot she had just seen Spike in and caught him staring in her direction. He smiled at her before carefully returning his attention to the brunette. Buffy sighed and looked back at Angel who was offering to get her a drink. It was going to be a very long four hours being so close to Spike and not being able to have any interaction with him.

*****

“Ah, Ms. Summers. May I say how lovely you look tonight?”

Buffy turned to smile up at him. “Yes, you may.” She took her drink from the bartender as Spike motioned to him for a refill.

Spike bent his head so that he was whispering into her ear. “As much as I love the dress, pet, all I can think about is ripping it off of you.”

She was about to respond as he pulled his head back and raised an eyebrow at her until she felt a hand at the small of her back. Spike’s expression quickly turned professional and she hoped her eyes didn’t give anything away as she looked up at her boyfriend. Angel didn’t seem to notice what had just passed between them, and greeted them both with a smile.

Angel signaled for the bartender, ordering another beer. “Professor Thompson, I didn’t know you would be chaperoning this year.”

Spike forced a chuckle. “Yes, well, Ms. Kendall is quite persistent.”

Buffy rolled her eyes at the mention of Harmony. “That’s one way to describe her,” she grumbled. Although she knew Spike didn’t return Harmony’s advances, she still didn’t like thinking of how Harmony had persuaded Spike to chaperone the event.

“So, what do you think Buff’s chances are of actually passing English this semester?” Angel asked with a laugh, accepting a beer from the bartender. “We both know she’s not exactly an honor student.”

Spike stared coldly at Angel. “Quite the contrary, Mr. O’Toole. Buffy could be an exceptional student if she worked up to her full potential.”

Angel laughed again. “Right, that’s why she’s a third year student with freshman standing.” He hugged Buffy to his side. “It’s a good thing I’m not after her for her brain.”

“Yes, how lucky for her,” Spike replied snidely. “Not every day a girl finds such a prince.” His tone left no indication that he considered Angel to be anything but a prince.

Buffy stared at Spike, silently willing him to stop defending her. The last thing either of them needed was for Angel to get suspicious. She plastered on an expression that she hoped looked indignant, but her eyes pleaded with Spike to let it go. Angel noticed the tension that hung in the air between the three of them. He also noticed the soft look that crossed Professor Thompson’s face before he excused himself in search of the restroom.

“That guy is so uptight!” Angel complained. “I don’t know how you do it, spending time with such an asshole.” He kissed her, and Buffy could taste the alcohol on his breath. “I guess you’ll do just about anything for me, huh?”

Buffy nodded silently, letting Angel pull her back to the table where their friends were gathered. She sat down and tried to look interested in the funny story that Faith’s date, Xander, was telling everyone. Inside she was feeling a million different emotions, the two most dominant being anger and confusion. After three years, she was finally fed up with Angel’s antics. He thought he owned her, and that was partly her fault. Now she knew how different things could be. Everything was changing-she was changing-and she had no idea what to do about it.

*****

Spike stalked off in search of the nearest restroom. Instead, he found himself outside the hotel smoking a cigarette to calm his nerves. What the hell was wrong with her? How could she allow that oversized moron to speak about her like that? He was still fuming and about to light up another cigarette when she found him.

“Spike?” Buffy put her hand on his elbow to get his attention. “I’m really sorry about what happened in there. Angel-“

“What the bloody hell do you have to be sorry about?” Spike asked. “Besides the fact that your boyfriend is a complete and utter wanker.”

Buffy sighed and looked around to make sure they were alone before leading Spike around the side of the building, into the shadows of an alley. “Look, I don’t know what a wanker is, but-“

“A wanker is a man who takes for granted that he has the most beautiful, intelligent, funny, sexy girlfriend in the world.” His tone softened as he moved an errant strand of hair out of her face. “A wanker, luv, doesn’t deserve you.”

Buffy placed a hand on the back of his neck, drawing his face down to meet hers in a kiss. It didn’t take long for the sweet kiss to turn passionate. Spike leaned back against the stone of the building, taking her with him. His hands roamed down her bare back, cupping her ass and pushing her more tightly up against him. The kiss deepened and Spike found the opening of the slit in her dress, his hand creeping underneath and caressing her panty clad mound.

Buffy pulled back just as Spike’s fingers moved her panties aside. “We can’t do this here,” she told him, adjusting herself under the dress.

Spike snorted, reaching out to bring her back into his embrace. “Here’s just as good a place as any.”

Buffy shook her head, evading his grasp. “No, Spike. We’re being too careless. Anyone could come out here and find us. _Angel_ could come out here and find us.”

Spike rolled his eyes. “And wouldn’t that be just terrible! If your boyfriend found you screwing his English teacher up against a wall.”

“Uh, yeah, it would be!” Buffy told him, as if he should already know this. “Our relationship isn’t exactly, well, not frowned upon.”

“Relationship?” Spike countered, ignoring the hurt look that crossed her face. “Is that what we have?”

Buffy backed away from him angrily. “I guess not!” She turned and stalked away from him, and all he could do was watch her go.

*****

The formal was coming to an end, and Buffy for one could not wait to leave. After her fight with Spike, she had tried to compose herself in the bathroom before joining her friends again. Angel was already three sheets to the wind, and she had no patience left to deal with him. Luckily he had sprung up a conversation with Harmony’s date, whose name Buffy still didn’t know. Just as she thought her night couldn’t get any worse, she spotted Spike on the dance floor. She hadn’t even seen him come back in after their fight and had assumed he had gone home.

As hard as Buffy tried to look away, she couldn’t help but see who he was dancing with. It was one of the few slow songs of the night, and Spike’s back was blocking her view of his partner. She assumed it was the professor she had seen him talking to earlier that evening, until they turned and her heart dropped.

He was dancing with Harmony.

There was no way he was dancing with Harmony for any other reason than to make Buffy jealous. He knew damn well how she felt about Harmony! And what was he trying to draw attention to himself? It wasn’t unusual for chaperones to dance at these formals, but they hardly ever slow danced with students. Especially not the kind of dancing Harmony was doing!

It took all of her strength not to march onto the dance floor and rip Harmony’s whoring arms off of Spike. She hated that she was so jealous, but she was feeling incredibly insecure about their “relationship” after the fight they’d just had in the alley. Or, at least she thought they had a relationship, but apparently he didn’t.

Buffy couldn’t take it anymore and looked away. She hadn’t been very good company tonight and she was sure her friends had noticed. She looked back to Angel. At least he was too drunk to notice anything going on. She sighed to herself, counting down the minutes until she’d be back in her bed. Alone.


	15. Chapter Fifteen

**  
Chapter 15 – The Break Up   
**

Buffy stepped out of her English class and started down the hallway towards Spike’s office. She was still angry with him about the previous night, but she knew she had to see him. She wanted to know what he was thinking and feeling, but didn’t know if she had the courage to ask him. If she wasn’t ready to admit the feelings she had for him, would she be able to hear what he had to say?

As she entered the stairwell, Buffy spotted a familiar blonde head coming up the stairs. Spike looked up at the sound of her heels clicking on the steps.

“Hey,” she greeted him awkwardly.

Spike continued up the stairs until he was on the step below her. “I thought you had class now?”

“I got out a little early. I was coming to see you.”

He tilted his head to the side and smiled at her. “And I was on my way to catch you coming out of class,” he admitted. An uncomfortable silence passed between them, tension hanging in the air. They had unconsciously drifted closer together, guiltily jumping apart when a student entered the stairwell, racing past the couple undoubtedly late for class. Although the student probably hadn’t taken the time to notice the awkward vibes coming from the professor and student in the stairwell, they agreed that their location wasn’t the best for what they needed to discuss.

As soon as they were in his office, Spike closed the door and took a seat next to Buffy in the chairs reserved for guests. Before Buffy could think of where to begin, Spike blurted out, “What are we doing?”

Buffy blinked. “What?”

Spike stood, pacing in front of her. He was already frustrated after spending all night and morning thinking about what had transpired between them the night before. “What are we doing? Having sex?” He paused, not waiting for an answer. “Yes, I know that much. But the question is, why?”

Buffy couldn’t look at him. She sensed that he had stopped and was now looking at her, but she couldn’t bring herself to look up. She was terrified that he had figured out her motivations.

Spike sighed when he realized he wasn’t getting an answer from her. “What I mean is, I don’t quite understand why you are with me and still with Angel. I know you’ve got to feel this thing that’s between us.”

“I do,” Buffy responded quietly. “But it’s not that simple.”

“Isn’t it? You either want to be with him or you don’t.”

“I haven’t _been_ with him in weeks, Spike!”

“Bollocks!” He sat back down in the chair next to her. “Last night I followed you back to your sorority house and waited over an hour for him to leave so we could talk.” He looked at her pointedly. “He never came out.”

Buffy stared at him quizzically. “Spike, I swear the minute we got back to the room I told him I was tired and that he should leave. It wasn’t even ten minutes before he left my room!”

Spike ran a hand through his hair in frustration. He wanted to believe her, but there was no way he’d missed Angel leaving her sorority house. Deciding it really didn’t matter, he took her hand in his. “I’m at a loss, Buffy. I don’t know what to do or what you want from me.”

“I don’t know either.” It was only partially a lie. Buffy couldn’t have been more confused than she was at that moment. The only thing that was clear was that she had a lot of thinking to do.

Spike leaned in and captured her mouth in a sweet kiss. “I do know that I don’t have the strength to walk away from you. Even if that makes me a damn fool.”

*****

The entire walk back to her sorority house, Buffy felt like she was on the verge of tears. She had no idea what to do about the colossally fucked up situation she was now in. Not that it wasn’t her fault, because it was. She couldn’t even blame Angel because he had never intended for her to develop feelings for Spike.

“Buffy?”

She looked up to see Willow standing in her room. She had been so absorbed in her thoughts that she hadn’t even realized she was back in her room, sitting on her bed staring off into space.

Willow came to sit down beside her, noticing how unhappy her friend looked. “Buffy, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” she lied. How could she open up to Willow without telling her everything? She couldn’t even imagine what Willow would think of her if she knew that Buffy had conspired against Spike with Angel.

“It doesn’t look like nothing,” Willow replied, placing a hand over Buffy’s. “Buffy, I’m your best friend. You know you can tell me anything.”

Buffy looked at her friend. She took a deep breath before nodding. “I know, it’s just-“

“Is this about Professor Thompson?” Buffy nodded. “Is he pressuring you to do something?” Willow asked suspiciously.

“No!” Buffy exclaimed immediately, shaking her head. “Nothing like that.” She sighed, preparing herself to tell Willow everything. She explained how Angel had formulated the plan and that she was now keeping her relationship with Spike a secret from Angel. “If Angel finds out, he’ll report Spike and I can’t let that happen.”

“Do you-, Buffy, do you love him?”

“I thought I did. I thought Angel was everything I wanted-“

Willow cut her off. “I meant Spike. Do you love him?”

Buffy could only nod, not ready to admit her feelings aloud. “But how is that possible? I barely know him! And I’m lying to him. I was using him to help Angel, not giving a shit that he would lose his job in the process!” She looked away from her friend, ashamed of herself.

“I’m not saying what you did was right, because it wasn’t,” Willow started. “But you were a misguided girl in love trying to help her boyfriend.” She paused before continuing. “Buffy, why are you still with Angel if you love Spike?”

“Because I’m afraid of what will happen to Spike if I end things with Angel. And because I wasn’t ready to admit what was really going on between me and Spike,” she admitted. “I don’t love Angel anymore and I haven’t for a while now. He was just so safe and our future was so solid.”

“Safe and solid isn’t exactly a recipe for great love,” Willow told her. “If things are as serious with Spike as they seem to be, you need to end it with Angel.”

Buffy covered her face with her hands. “How am I ever going to tell Spike about this? He’ll think I’m a monster!”

“If he loves you enough, he’ll forgive you,” Willow assured her, trying to believe what she was telling her friend.

*****

Buffy was summoning all the courage she had on the walk to Angel’s dorm. She knew she was doing the right thing, but she was terrified that Angel would see through her and find out about her and Spike. If he figured it out, he would stop at nothing to destroy Spike’s life. She could care less what Angel did to her. Getting kicked out of college wouldn’t be the worst thing. She’d deal. But Spike’s job was his whole life and she’d never be able to forgive herself if he lost that.

Buffy took a deep breath once she was outside of his door and knocked loudly. There was no going back now. Angel opened the door, greeting her with a big smile and a kiss. “We need to talk.”

Angel ushered her inside, trying to pull his girlfriend into his arms. Buffy quickly disentangled herself from his embrace, reminding herself why she was there. “I’m serious, Angel. We need to talk.” She took a seat in his desk chair and motioned for him to sit on his messy bed.

“Ohhhhkay,” Angel replied, not liking the direction he saw this going, but he sat down anyway. “What’s up, Buff?”

Buffy proceeded to give him the speech she’d been preparing in her head ever since she’d spoken to Willow. They had drifted apart; she didn’t want the same thing he did anymore; and most importantly she wasn’t in love with him anymore.

Angel listened quietly, anger welling up inside of him. She was breaking up with him? “You don’t love me anymore?” he asked, as if he couldn’t believe it was the truth.

Buffy shook her head, looking at him seriously. “I’m sorry, but no I don’t.”

“Does this have something to do with Professor Thompson?”

“No!” Buffy responded quickly, maybe too quickly. “It has nothing to do with anyone except us. Maybe the plan with Professor Thompson brought some things to light for me, but it certainly isn’t the only thing.” She paused, gathering herself. “It’s over, Angel.”

Angel shook his head. “You think I’m going to give up that easily? You know me better than that.”

“I do,” she agreed. “But I know me well enough to tell you that whatever you do, it’s not going to work.” Buffy stood from her chair. “I’m sorry, Angel.” She gave him one last look before turning and walking out of the room.


	16. Chapter Sixteen

** Chapter 16 – The Ties that Bind **

Buffy woke up the next morning to the feeling of sunlight streaming across her face. She smiled, feeling better than she had in weeks, maybe even years, maybe in her whole life. Her relationship with Angel was over and while she knew she should feel sad that a three year relationship had ended, she couldn’t help but feel relieved. Being with Spike had forced her to examine who she was in her relationship with Angel. Buffy hadn’t liked what she had seen.

The arm around her waist tightened, bringing her closer to the body behind her. She smiled to herself as she remembered the previous night. After leaving Angel, she had raced to her car and driven straight to Spike’s house. When he opened the door, he was surprised to see her standing in front of him.

_“I broke up with Angel.”_

She waited for Spike to say or do something. Thirty seconds went by, each one feeling like an eternity. What if he had changed his mind? What if he had found the strength he needed to walk away from her?

She released the breath she’d been holding as he enveloped her in his arms. She wrapped her arms around his waist, smiling into his solid chest as he placed kisses into her hair. Spike moved them inside, his lips crashing down onto hers the minute the door was closed. His fingers threaded through her silky hair, pressing her mouth more firmly against his. Their kisses were passionate and filled with desire.

Buffy broke the kiss, gasping for much needed air. Spike’s lips moved down along the column of her neck as his fingers fumbled with the button of her jeans. “Spike,” she breathed. “Take me upstairs.”

Spike’s lips left her neck, looking down at her momentarily before scooping her up and into his arms. Buffy giggled, her arms encircling his neck as he bounded the stairs to the second floor. She nibbled on his ear, her tongue darting out to lick the lobe and down his neck.

They entered his bedroom and Spike wasted no time depositing her on the large bed. He was on top of her in seconds. His lips and hands were everywhere, tasting and touching. In between kisses they were tearing each other’s clothing off. The past few days had been an emotional roller coaster and neither of them wanted to waste any time. She needed to feel him inside of her just as much as he needed to be there.

Clothing strewn haphazardly around them, both on the bed and on the floor, Spike finally entered her and she was more than ready for him. Their bodies stilled for a moment before moving together again, slowly this time. Buffy pulled his head down to meet hers in a kiss. Spike’s lips trailed down her body, stopping at her breasts. He took one hardened nipple into his mouth, sucking and nipping until Buffy was moaning in pleasure. He kissed the valley between her breasts before moving on to the other, lavishing it with the same attention.

“Buffy…” Spike groaned, feeling so close but not wanting to cum before she did. His hand snaked between them, finding her clit. He pinched the tiny bud and Buffy responded by bucking her hips up, taking him in even deeper. It only took a few minutes of caressing and pinching before her orgasm ripped through her body. Buffy crying out his name as she came was his undoing, and he followed her with a loud grunt, slamming his hips into hers and spilling his seed deep inside of her.

Spike collapsed on top of her. They were both breathing hard, their bodies slick with sweat. He rolled off of her, kissing her shoulder as he did. Minutes passed as they lay in each other’s arms, catching their breath. Buffy turned on her side towards him, drawing lazy circles on his hard stomach. “Spike?”

Spike looked up at her. “Yeah, baby?”

“You were kinda quiet before…”

Spike gave her his trademark sexy smirk. “Was kinda busy shaggin’ you, pet.”

Buffy blushed a little. “I know, I meant before that.” She paused, self-consciously. “When I told you I broke up with Angel. You didn’t say anything.”

Spike sat up, pulling her with him so they were facing each other. “I have to admit I was a little surprised that you even came here tonight. When you left my office you looked pretty confounded. I didn’t expect you to figure out what you wanted so soon.”

“But, you’re happy?”

Spike kissed her sweetly. “Yes, of course you silly girl.” He rubbed his already hardening erection against her leg. “Can’t you feel how happy?”

Buffy pushed him down and straddled his waist, focused on showing him how happy she was, too.

They had spent the rest of the night making love, until they passed out, spent, around the same time the sun was rising. Buffy knew in her heart that’s what they had been doing, making love, even though neither of them had voiced the feeling aloud. She was surprised at how much the thought didn’t terrify her like it had in the beginning. Sure, it was still a little scary to admit you had such deep feelings for someone, but she was pretty sure that Spike returned her feelings which made everything a little easier.

Her thoughts took a dark turn because she knew there was still something hanging between them. She needed to tell him the truth about why she had started a relationship with him. Last night hadn’t seemed like the right time, but would there ever be a right time? She seriously doubted it. And telling him sooner would definitely be better.

“Morning, luv,” came Spike’s sleepy voice from behind her.

Buffy turned in his arms. His eyes were still half closed, but his lips were turned up in a smile. “Good morning,” she responded, leaning in to kiss him. Spike pulled her closer to him, rolling so that she was beneath him, never breaking the kiss. A hand travelled down her body to her already wet slit.

Buffy pulled back, breaking the kiss. “As much as I want to,” she started, stopping him from inserting a finger. “I’m still sore from last night.” Her stomach grumbled. “And hungry, apparently,” she finished with a laugh.

Spike pouted. “Was I too rough on you, kitten?” he asked, bending down to kiss her neck.

Buffy playfully slapped him away from her when she felt him rubbing the head of his erection against her opening. He gave in, moving away from her and off the bed. She admired his naked body as he made his way to the bathroom. “If you change your mind I’ll be waiting for you in the shower,” he told her with a wink.

Buffy stood from the bed, pulling on his dress shirt from the night before and a pair of panties. “I’ll go downstairs and make us some breakfast,” she called to him as he entered his bathroom. Yes, sooner would be better, but it could wait until after his shower.

*****

Buffy was pouring more batter into a pan when the doorbell rang. Wiping her hands on a dish towel, she moved into the living room to the base of the staircase. She could hear the shower still running and knew Spike couldn’t hear the doorbell from there. She debated going up and telling him or ignoring it, but figured it was probably just someone trying to sell something and it’d be easy enough to tell them to go away.

She opened the door to find a dark haired couple in their thirties. The surprise was evident on their face and she suddenly realized what she was wearing – or not wearing. Her cheeks turned pink with embarrassment, but she tried to act more confident than she was feeling. “Can I help you?”

The man was the first to speak, clearing his throat before saying, “I think we must have the wrong house. Maybe you could direct us. We are looking for William Thompson.”

Buffy should have known they were English. Both of them looked way too stuffy for their own good. The man had on a dark grey suit and wore glasses, while the woman wore a matronly skirt and sweater. Her hair was dark and curly and she was very pretty.

It took Buffy a minute to find her voice again. “You have the right house. Who are you?”

“I’m Will’s brother, Wesley and this is my wife, Cecily,” he introduced them. “And you are?”

“Buffy,” she responded simply. Standing there in Spike’s doorway was becoming awkward so she invited them in. She was pretty sure Spike had no idea they were coming and wouldn’t be very happy about it. “Spike’s in the shower, but he should be right out. Can I get you some coffee?”

Cecily smiled at her politely, declining the offer. They moved into Spike’s living room and Buffy motioned for Wesley and Cecily to take a seat on his sofa. She stood awkwardly, having no clue what to say to them.

She didn’t have to think long. Spike came out then, hurrying down the stairs in nothing but a towel, his hair still wet from his shower. “Buffy, luv, are you sure you-“ He stopped mid-sentence noticing the guests on his sofa. He looked up at her, confused before returning his gaze to the two dark heads. It wasn’t until Wesley and Cecily turned to face him that confusion turned to disbelief.

“Hello, Will,” Wesley greeted.

“Wesley?” Disbelief quickly turned into outright anger. “What the bloody hell are you doing here?”

Wesley opened his mouth to respond, but was interrupted by the fire alarm blaring from the kitchen. “Shit!” Buffy exclaimed, running out of the living room and into the kitchen that was quickly filling with smoke. She had completely forgotten about the pancakes cooking on the stove! She grabbed the smoking pan, quickly throwing it under cold water in the sink. Spike, who had rushed in after her, was waving around dish towels trying to clear the air and quiet the alarm.

Finally the alarm stopped screeching. Buffy turned off the faucet, turning to find Spike leaning with his back against the counter. His head was back and his eyes were closed. He looked like he was trying to figure out what to do with the couple in the next room. Buffy crossed the room, wrapping her arms around him. “I’m sorry.” Sorry for burning the pancakes and sorry for letting them in.

“Not your fault.” He sighed, hugging her back.

“Everything alright in there?” Wesley called from the living room.

“Fine!” Buffy called back, looking up at Spike. “Why don’t we go upstairs, get dressed and then find out what they’re doing here.” She paused. “Unless you’d like some privacy with them.”

Spike shook his head. “No, I need you.”

*****

Less than ten minutes later, Buffy and Spike reemerged from his bedroom looking much more presentable. Buffy hadn’t had anything to wear besides the clothes she came in with last night. She had run a comb through her hair, as Spike did not own a brush, and decided the best thing she could do was throw it up.

Once again in front of his brother and sister-in-law, Spike looked uncomfortable and hostile. Buffy decided it would be best to introduce herself, maybe lighten the tension. “I’m Buffy Summers.” She didn’t bother moving or shaking their hands. “Spike’s girlfriend.” She slipped her hand into Spike’s, hoping to have a calming effect on him.

Spike seemed to be waiting for one of them to speak first. She couldn’t really blame him for being so cold. These were probably the two people he hated most in the world, and they had just shown up on his doorstep out of the blue.

Cecily chose to speak first. “We didn’t think you’d see us if we called ahead,” she explained.

“No, shit. Why in the world would I want to see either of you?”

“Will, it’s been ten years-“

“I know exactly how bloody long it’s been, Wes!” Spike interrupted. “And it’s not even close to long enough.”

“And you haven’t been to see Mum in six,” Wesley continued. “You barely call her and she’s not in the best of health.”

“So, what? You’ve come here to guilt me? You’ve got some nerve,” Spike responded angrily.

“We miss you, Will,” Cecily told him softly. “You were my best friend and Wesley’s brother and we miss you. You have three nephews you’ve never met and we want you to know them.”

Buffy felt very uncomfortable hearing the conversation, but knew Spike wanted her there. He needed someone to be on his side. And she guessed from the way that he had cut himself off from his family, especially his mother, that no one had been on his side ten years ago.

Spike looked at the tiny blonde standing next to him. He knew he was crazy for being so in love with her. He’d never had a relationship that ended well, the first of which was sitting before him. He was beginning to realize that being with Buffy made him look at things differently. He was so happy being with her that it made their betrayal sting less. And, if Cecily hadn’t left him he would never have moved to Sunnydale and met Buffy. She was by far the best thing he’d ever had in his life, including Drusilla. Maybe she was the reason he’d been engaged twice but never married.

He sighed, running a hand down his face. He was starving and needed time to process everything before addressing any serious topics. Since Buffy had nearly burned down his house making breakfast, he felt the safest route was to bring in food from his favorite deli. Buffy suggested that he go out and get it, knowing he could use the fresh air and time to think. Wesley offered to go with him, which Spike begrudgingly accepted.

And that is how Buffy found herself alone with Spike’s first love. Buffy was beyond starving and thirsty, so she offered to make them some iced tea. She hoped it would buy her some time since she wasn’t very familiar with Spike’s kitchen. Unfortunately, Spike wasn’t back by the time she entered the living room with two glasses of iced tea.

“How long have you and Will been together?” Cecily asked, accepting the glass from Buffy.

“Um, I guess about a month.”

Cecily looked surprised. “That’s all?” She quickly backtracked when she saw the angry look on Buffy’s face. “I didn’t mean anything bad. The way you two act together, it seems like you’ve been together for much longer.” Buffy contemplated what the older woman was saying. She wasn’t sure if she should take it as a good or bad thing, so she decided it was a compliment. “You look so comfortable around one another. It may have been ten years since I’ve seen it, but I know the look Will gets when he’s in love.”

Buffy nearly choked on her iced tea. She didn’t know how to respond so she just stared at Cecily. “Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed! Why, he’s positively enamored with you.” She winked at Buffy. “Just as you are with him.”

“Well, yeah we’re good together, but it-it’s complicated.”

Cecily laughed. “Buffy, life’s too short. Don’t waste any time when you know something’s right.”

Buffy was relieved when Spike and Wesley walked through the door and she didn’t have to respond. “Who’s hungry?” Spike asked and Buffy nearly jumped out of her seat, anxious to get away from Cecily and get to the food.

*****

By the time Wesley and Cecily left Spike’s home, the threesome were on more amicable terms. They had a long way to go before they’d be anything resembling family, but Spike was willing to try. He was long over Cecily, and although it hurt that his brother could betray him that way, he now knew how all consuming love could be.

Spike was in bed staring up at the ceiling when Buffy emerged from his bathroom after taking a shower. Her hair was wet and she was wearing nothing but one of his t-shirts and she looked gorgeous. She used his comb on her hair before joining him on the bed. “Thank you.”

Buffy looked at him, surprised. “For what?”

“Today. Everything. You have no idea how much you helped me,” Spike told her, taking her hand and bringing it to his lips.

Buffy moved so that she was in his lap. Her mouth met his in a kiss that told her everything she needed to know. Cecily’s words played over in her head. Spike loved her and she loved him and apparently it was obvious to a complete stranger.

Spike picked her up by the waist, positioning her above his erection. She slid down onto him with a low moan. They resumed their kiss while Buffy began slowly moving up and down his shaft. “Buffy…pet, faster,” he pleaded. Buffy grabbed onto the headboard behind him and rode him as fast as she could, slamming down so hard it was almost painful when their hips met. She took his hand, directing it to her breast. One hand remained on her hip, guiding her movements while the other pinched her nipple until it was a hard bud. Knowing she needed to cum, the hand that was attending to her breast travelled down to play with her clit.

“Ungh…Spike….yes, like that!”

Spike kept up his ministrations until she was whimpering under his touch. “That’s it, baby. I wanna hear you scream.”

And she did, screaming out his name as she came, her juices coating his cock. His fingers dug into the flesh of her hips as he continued to guide her up and down. He was so close-

“I love you.”

Her words undid him and he slammed up into her warm body a few more times, riding out his orgasm. Once he was spent, Buffy collapsed on top of him, her arms wrapped tightly around his neck. When their breathing wasn’t quite so labored, Buffy pulled back. “I love you, Spike,” she told him again.

Spike kissed her hard on the lips. “I love you, too, Buffy.”


	17. Chapter Seventeen

** Chapter 17 – Love and Loss **

It had been a week since Buffy and Spike voiced their true feelings for each other. Everything had been amazing between them, which Buffy used as an excuse not to tell him about her plan with Angel. She knew she had to tell him or it would always be hanging in the air above their heads. Twice she had tried to, but for one flimsy reason or another it never happened.

_They were working on her take home English midterm in his living room. It was the day after Wesley and Cecily had shown up, and Spike had convinced Buffy they should actually put some effort into her English assignments. She figured now was as miserable a time as any to tell him. There were a million tiny butterflies in her stomach and she thought she might vomit all over their hard work._

“Spike?” she began, trying to sound as normal as possible.

He looked up from the paper he’d been reading. “Buffy.”

“I have to tell you something,” she blurted out. “I…it’s just…you see-“ She bit her lip. “I need to tell you the truth about something.”

“What is it, pet?” He was staring at her intently, waiting patiently for her to tell him what was on her mind.

“I think I’m still failing English,” she lied. Well, it was only partially a lie. She’d been neglecting school a lot since she’d started seeing him.

That was the closest she’d been to telling him the truth. She hadn’t gotten off scot free though. Now Spike was more on top of her about her assignments. Last week he even got her to study with him, giving her sexual favors in return for correct answers. Studying had never been so much fun.

It was mid-November and Buffy was dreading going home for Thanksgiving. She hated any family gatherings, but this year would be worse than usual. She could already feel the headache she was going to have from her parents criticizing her decision to break up with Angel. They thought she was a complete idiot and had no future without him. On some level she had thought the same thing until Spike showed her differently.

Buffy’s thoughts were put on hold as Spike’s lips lazily grazed her shoulder. “What’s going on in that brilliant mind of yours?”

She loved that he thought she was brilliant, even if it meant that he was delusional. “Thinking about how much I’m dreading going home next week.” She pouted. “I wish I could stay here with you.”

Spike kissed her pouty lips. “I wish that too, kitten, but-“ He kissed her again, “You’ve got to see your family and I’ll be here swamped with a hundred midterm papers to read.”

“I know,” she grumbled. “It’s just gonna suck.”

Spike intensified the kiss, leaving her breathless. “There must be some way I could distract you…” He moved over her, crawling down her body so that he was in between her legs. He leaned down to rain kisses all over her stomach, moving lower, kissing her hip bones, until he finally reached his destination. Slowly, he ran his tongue up and down along her slit.

Buffy bucked her hips, trying to force his tongue inside her. “Nuh-uh,” Spike scolded, holding her hips down with one hand. Teasing her, he nipped at her inner thigh before licking at her sweet opening. Bringing her legs up and over his shoulders, Spike drove his tongue even further into her wet heat. Her breathy moans encouraged him and turned into cries of pleasure when he found her clit. He sucked on the sensitive bud, simultaneously inserting two fingers. He pumped his fingers in and out as his tongue circled her clit.

Pulling his fingers out, he immediately replaced them with his tongue. Thrusting it as deep as he could, he teased the bundle of nerves he found there. “Spike!” she cried, so close to her orgasm. “Don’t…stop! So…close!” Pressing his thumb to her clit with his tongue buried deep inside of her was all she needed. Spike lapped up her juices as she came with a shout.

Still holding her legs, Spike sat up, angling his raging erection straight into her opening. The stimulation of his dick hitting her clit had her coming again within seconds of her last orgasm. Going down on her had him fully aroused and it wasn’t long before he felt his own impending climax. His thrusts became quicker the closer he got until he was spilling himself deep inside her.

Spike collapsed on the bed beside her, panting and sweating. “Love you,” he told her, taking her hand and kissing her palm.

*****

It took Buffy a full ten minutes to recover. Once she did, she headed for the bathroom to brush her teeth and get ready for class. Spike came in behind her, heading for the shower.

“Why don’t we go on a date Friday night?” he asked.

“Do you think that’s a good idea?” As much as she loved the idea of a night out with him, she knew it was risky.

“We could drive down to L.A. Have dinner in a nice restaurant like any other couple,” he suggested.

Buffy beamed at him. “That sounds perfect.”

“It’s a date then.” He leaned in to kiss her before stepping into the shower and turning on the water. “Better get going, luv. Don’t want to be late for class!”

*****

Buffy hadn’t told anyone besides Willow and Spike that she had broken up with Angel. If she had, people would start to wonder where she was spending her nights and with whom. That would be very bad and she had no idea what she would tell them, but she knew she had to figure it out soon.

Spike had classes all morning and afternoon, so she went back to her sorority house to spend some time with her friends and pick up a few things to take back to Spike’s. Unfortunately, the house was pretty much deserted so she went straight to her bedroom.

She was not prepared for who was sitting on her bed, waiting for her. Or, more correctly, lying on her bed watching television. “Angel, what are you doing?”

Straightening up, Angel turned off the television and stood to greet her. “There you are. I’ve been waiting here for twenty minutes.” He tried to kiss her hello, but she pushed him away.

“And so I repeat, what are you doing?” She stood with her arms crossed over her chest.

“I missed you,” he admitted. “Can’t I come see my girl?”

“I am not your girl anymore,” she corrected him. “We broke up!”

“You were serious about that?” he scoffed. “It’s been a whole week. I thought if I gave you your space, you’d have time to cool off and realize what a huge mistake you’re making.”

Buffy rolled her eyes. Of course he would think that. What girl in their right mind would break up with the wonderful Angel O’Toole? “Listen, Angel, I really don’t have time for your games. I meant everything I said to you last week. Nothing’s changed.”

“And what about next week? Thanksgiving break? I’m sure your parents won’t be very happy to hear that you’re throwing your life away.”

“Do you even hear yourself? Throwing my life away?” She threw up her hands in anger. “Just get out of here.”

“But, Buff-“

“Get. Out.” She glared at him, daring him to say anything else. He must have realized she wasn’t joking and stalked out of her room but not before muttering, “Your loss.”

*****

Every Friday morning Spike had an eight o’clock class. Afterwards he held office hours from nine to ten. Students hardly ever utilized office hours, especially on Friday morning. Spike got a lot of work done this time every week, which was proving to be very useful since so much of his time at home was being consumed by Buffy. Thinking of Buffy made him think of their date scheduled for that night. He couldn’t wait to take her out and do things other couples took for granted. They were meeting at his house at six so that she could shop and primp and do whatever else girls did to prepare for a date. Six o’clock couldn’t come fast enough.

Spike was surprised when he heard a knock on his door. Maybe Buffy had come to surprise him…

No such luck. Instead of Buffy, his least favorite student was seeking him out, no doubt to once again discuss the less than stellar marks Spike was giving him. “Mr. O’Toole,” Spike greeted, trying not to sound as exasperated as he felt. “Please, take a seat.”

“Professor Thompson,” Angel started, getting right to the point. “I thought I’d give you one more chance to reconsider the grades you’ve been giving me.”

“How generous of you,” Spike replied sarcastically. God, he hated this asshole. “And why would I want to do that?”

“Because if you don’t I’m going to show these to every administrator, professor and student on this campus.” Angel threw a manila envelope onto Spike’s desk.

Spike’s heart sank. He didn’t have to open the envelope to know what would be inside. He opened it anyway and his worst fears were confirmed. There were at least a dozen photographs of him and Buffy. Her closing his front door in his dress shirt. Them kissing in his car behind her sorority house. Him walking her to her car outside of his house. He felt sick to his stomach.

“It’s up to you,” Angel told him. “I show these pictures to everyone on this campus, effectively ruining your career and her reputation. Or, you give me an ‘A’ for the semester and you get these plus the negatives.” He paused. “Oh, and you have to stop seeing Buffy.”

Spike felt like the wind had been knocked out of him. He didn’t give a shit about giving this over privileged son of a bitch an ‘A’, but losing Buffy? He knew he didn’t have a choice, but it would kill him.

Angel stood up. “I guess I’d better start making copies.”

“Wait!” Spike closed his eyes, wishing so badly that this was just a nightmare. “I’ll do it.”

“I thought you might.” Angel smiled, throwing another envelope on his desk, containing the negatives. “And don’t even think about not going through with it. I won’t bother coming to you next time.”

Spike watched the brunette devil walk out of his office. He knew he had no choice but to end things with Buffy, but he had no idea how he would get through it. It was the last thing he wanted in the world, but he’d do it to spare her the public humiliation.

*****

Buffy showed up on Spike’s doorstep at exactly six o’clock that evening. She looked stunning in a form fitting spaghetti strapped dress. The sweetheart neckline showed off her cleavage and her strappy heels showed off her tanned legs. Spike was going to die when he saw her.

Buffy frowned when he opened his door, wearing jeans and a tee. “Ok, now I’m feeling way over dressed.”

Spike closed the door behind her and led her into the living room. “We need to talk,” he told her, sitting down on the sofa.

She followed his lead, sitting next to him. “What’s going on? Is everything ok?” His tone and the look on his face was really worrying her.

“No, it’s not.”

Buffy took his hand in hers. “What happened?”

Spike had no idea how he was going to force the words he needed to say out of his mouth. Not when she was looking so gorgeous and concerned in that sexy red dress. “Buffy, you know how much I love you…”

“But,” she inserted for him, a feeling of trepidation taking over.

“I love you, but I’ve had a lot of time to think about it and I think it would be best if we ended things before they got messy and out of control.” It broke his heart to see the flash of despair cross her face.

“How long is ‘a lot of time’?” she questioned, narrowing her eyes. “This morning everything was fine.”

“I sat in my office all day and thought about it. Buffy, you’re so young and I honestly think it would be best for you if we ended things now.”

Buffy could feel the tears welling up inside of her, but she wouldn’t cry. She hated when anyone saw her crying, especially the person who was causing her tears. She pulled her hand away from his as if she’d been burned. “How can you say you love me and then break up with me in the next sentence? You don’t just wake up loving someone and then come home from work wanting to break up with them!”

“I’m doing this for your own good,” he told her softly. She’d never know how true that was.

“Oh, spare me!” She stood up, knowing she had to leave quickly or she’d burst into tears.

“Buffy-“

Spike reached out to her and she instantly recoiled. “Don’t touch me.” Her voice was cold as ice. “You got your wish. It’s over.”


	18. Chapter Eighteen

Chapter 18 – And the Truth Comes Out  
  
Buffy didn’t get out of bed until Monday morning. The entire weekend had been one huge barrel of conflicting emotions. Initially, she felt sad. The ride home from Spike’s house had seemed much longer than it actually was, but she had been able to hold back the tears until she made it to the shower. She cried like her heart was breaking, because it was. The running water had masked her tears as she sat on the shower floor sobbing. It wasn’t until she started shivering from the cold water about an hour later that she realized she wasn’t even crying anymore. She felt numb as she turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. She didn’t even take the time to dry herself off before putting on her robe and getting into bed.  
  
Buffy slept until the next morning. She woke up, wishing that the previous night had been a bad dream, but she knew it hadn’t been. Spike had broken up with her. On some level, she knew that it was what she deserved. Karma was one hell of a bitch that way. So, she started blaming people. First, she blamed herself. If she had never agreed to do what Angel had asked her to do, she would never have developed feelings for Spike, and he could never have hurt her this badly. Then, she blamed Angel. If he had never asked her to seduce Spike, she would never have done it on her own. And lastly, she blamed Spike. For giving Angel bad grades. For being so damn sexy and charming. For making her see what a crock of shit her life was with Angel.  
  
It wasn’t until Sunday that Buffy got angry. Who the hell was Spike to presume he knew what was best for her? She was twenty one years old and could make her own decisions! He was no better than Angel, telling her how to live her life. Buffy was also angry with herself for not putting up more of a fight. It had taken less than ten minutes for their relationship to crumble into a thousand pieces. At the time she hadn’t been able to, but she should have done or said something to change his mind.  
  
That weekend had, however, been the perfect time to tell her friends about her breakup with Angel. It was the perfect excuse why she was wallowing in her room instead of out with her friends. They tried to get her to go out on Saturday night, so she could forget all about Angel. Little did they know that Angel was the furthest thing from her mind.  
  
Only Willow knew better. She also knew that Buffy needed time to grieve. Willow may not have known all the details, but she knew it wasn’t Angel that Buffy was heartbroken over. It was Sunday evening when Buffy went looking for her friend. Willow was studying in her room when Buffy knocked on the door. The redhead smiled at her, welcoming Buffy into her room. Buffy closed the door for privacy before joining Willow on the bed. She gave Willow a detailed version of the breakup. Although she didn’t cry-Buffy wasn’t a crier-Willow could see how deeply hurt her friend was.  
  
Moving away from the bed, Buffy began to pace. “I’m just so angry!” Willow knew better than to interrupt when Buffy went on a tirade. “I can’t believe I just let him tell me it was over! Who the hell does he think he is? Angel? What right-what right does he have to make decisions for me?” She stopped pacing to face Willow. “Always acting like he’s so much better than Angel, when in the end he’s exactly the same!”  
  
It wasn’t until Buffy had quieted and rejoined her on the bed that Willow spoke. “I don’t know Spike at all,” she began. “But maybe he really thinks he’s doing the honorable thing here.” She held up her hands when Buffy glared at her. “Hey, hey, on your side here! I could totally be wrong, but maybe, just maybe, Spike thinks he’s doing the right thing.”  
  
Buffy surprised her, saying, “Maybe.” She looked at Willow, the pain shining through her green eyes. “I know he could lose his job, but it just hurts so much, Will.”  
  
Willow put her arms around Buffy, cursing Angel for the hundredth time for getting Buffy into this mess. She knew Buffy wasn’t completely without fault, but she also knew how manipulative Angel could be, and how easily Buffy went along with his ideas. And, it really didn’t matter how wrong Buffy was. Buffy was her friend and she’d support her no matter what.  
  
Buffy pulled back from the embrace, a look of determination in her eyes. “I need to talk to him.”  
  
Willow put a hand on Buffy’s arm, stopping her from getting off the bed. “I don’t think that’s the best idea.” Buffy was about to respond, but Willow cut her off. “I’m not saying you have to let this go. O-or that you should. But at least wait until tomorrow! Sleep on it and if you still want to talk to him, then go find him.”  
  
It was a minute before Buffy nodded slowly. “Yeah, maybe you’re right.” She hugged Willow again, thanking her for listening. “I’ll go see him tomorrow in his office.”  
  


*****

The next morning, Buffy was still determined to confront Spike in his office. She had come to know his schedule as well as she knew her own and knew he had a break from classes at noon and ate his lunch in his office. Knowing that she’d never be able to concentrate in her own classes, Buffy had spent the morning imagining how their conversation would go. Would he have realized he made a mistake and beg her forgiveness? If he didn’t, would she be able to make him see how wrong this was? Would they scream? Fight? Fuck? She imagined their conversation going in a hundred different directions, but had no idea what would actually happen.

In desperate need of caffeine, Buffy stopped at the campus coffee shop. She had half an hour before Spike got out of class, and at this point being in her room was making her crazy. Unfortunately, as she was waiting for her order she heard her name being called. She groaned, instantly recognizing the voice. She was so not in the mood to deal with him.

“Hey.” At least this time, Angel had the decency not to try and give her a kiss. “How have you been?”

“Really not in the mood.” She silently willed them to make her coffee faster.

To her extreme irritation, Angel seemed delighted by her bad mood. “Can we sit down? Talk? I’d really like to talk to you.”

Talking to Angel was the last thing she wanted to do. “I’m actually in a hurry.” Luckily her order was handed to her. She gratefully accepted it from the barista and moved past Angel, hurrying out of the coffee shop.

Angel was right behind her. He caught up to her quickly, getting in front of her and effectively blocking her way. “I just want to see how you’re doing. I miss you, Buff. I was hoping that you’d want to talk and try to work things out.”

“Angel, I told you last week and I’ll tell you again. I’m. Not. Interested. Now, I really have to get going.”

Angel watched as Buffy stormed past him, clearly on a mission. That hadn’t gone exactly as he’d planned, but luckily Angel always had a backup plan.

*****

Just as she expected, Spike was in his office. Even after imagining all the different ways this could go, she still had no idea what to say to him. Feeling uncharacteristically nervous and insecure, Buffy contemplated turning around. It was at that moment that Spike looked up and saw her standing in the hall outside of his office. She couldn’t quite read the expression on his face...was it surprise? Relief? Guilt?

 _No turning back now._ “Listen, Spike. I didn’t get much of a chance to say anything on Friday, and there are things that I need to say.”

Spike stood from his chair, drawn to her. The weekend had been hard on him, as well. After Buffy had left his house he’d headed straight for his liquor cabinet. He had taken one sip of the whiskey before hurling the tumbler against the wall so hard it shattered. Buffy wasn’t the only one who was angry. Spike was angry, but mostly at himself. He had been reckless. He had once again let himself fall for a student-and not just any student. A student whose boyfriend was now blackmailing him. Or, actually Angel was her ex-boyfriend, but that was hardly the point…

“I’m listening,” he told her even as he cursed himself. _Nothing she says will make a difference, you bloody idiot! Do you want to lose your job?_  
Spike’s office wasn’t huge and Buffy was now incredibly aware of how close they were. She almost wished he had stayed behind his desk. Maybe then she wouldn’t be having such a hard time speaking. She tried to summon some of the anger she’d been feeling just moments before she had entered his office.

“You don’t get to just decide what’s best for me.”

Why was she putting him through this again? It had been hard enough to do this the first time, he wasn’t sure he was strong enough to do it again.

“It’s not just what’s best for you, pet.” _Damn it._ “It’s what’s best for both of us.”

“How? How is this what’s best for either of us?” Spike didn’t have an answer for her, and he was avoiding looking her in the eye. “I don’t give a shit about this school! If you’re afraid we’ll get caught then I’ll drop out, or transfer.”

Her words made sense, but the evidence-the evidence she didn’t know about-would guarantee he’d be fired whether she left the campus or not. Could he really give up his career and his reputation for someone he’d only known for a few months? He already knew the answer, and it scared the hell out of him.

Spike could feel himself caving. Buffy could feel it too. Their lips were inches apart when they realized someone else had moved into the room with them.

“I think it’s a little too late for that.”

Buffy jumped back, spinning around to face her ex. “What are you doing here?” she asked, her eyes flashing. “Are you following me?”

“Yeah,” he admitted, so smug she wanted to slap him. “I’ve been following you-or actually, having you followed-for months now.” He resisted a laugh when Buffy’s face turned pale. “But, I guess Professor Thompson left that part out.”

Buffy looked between the two men. Spike was glaring at Angel, his fists curled up into balls at his side. “No, I didn’t tell her. I thought I’d spare her the gory details. But now, you can do whatever you’d like with those photos.”

Angel casually sat down in a chair, throwing his feet up on Spike’s desk like he owned the place. “I’d think twice before throwing my life away for this little whore.”

Buffy place a restraining hand on Spike’s chest. “Shut up, Angel,” she pleaded.

“No way, the fun hasn’t even started! I guess Professor Thompson isn’t the only one keeping secrets here, is he, Buff?”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Spike growled at the same time Buffy said, “Angel, no.”

“Well, you see, _Spike._ Right around the time you gave me a ‘C’ for the third time this semester, I was looking for a way to get back at you. And raise my grade, of course. Since you weren’t willing to listen to reason, I came up with a fun little plan that would kill two birds with one stone.” He gestured Buffy’s way. “That’s where she came in. She was only supposed to sleep with you once, but knowing the slut she is I knew better than that. So I had her followed, and well, you know how that turned out.”

As Angel was talking, Buffy’s eyes were glued to Spike’s face. There was hatred there, but also disbelief. Her stomach dropped.

“I don’t believe you.”

Angel loudly put his feet back on the floor and stood. “I don’t hear her denying it.”

Spike’s eyes turned back to Buffy. The guilt must have been evident on her face because the disbelief quickly turned into betrayal. “Spike, let me explain-.”

Spike jumped back and away from her like he’d been stung. “What could you possibly say? You’re obviously not denying it, so that means it’s true?” He didn’t give her a chance to respond. “Get out. I want both of you out of here.”

A smug smile firmly planted on his face, Angel left the broken couple. Buffy reached out to Spike again, but he evaded her grasp.

“Spike, please,” she whispered. “I’m so sorry. I lov-.”

“Don’t. You clearly don’t know the meaning of the word,” he told her angrily. “You need to leave. And don’t come back.”


	19. Chapter Nineteen

** Chapter Nineteen – Beyond Repair **

Reluctantly, Buffy left Spike’s office, feeling like she’d been punched in the gut. She was filled with such self-loathing. How could she have let things get so out of hand? Over the last few weeks, every fiber in her body had been screaming at her to tell Spike the truth. But, she had chickened out at every opportunity and now everything had blown up in her face. 

Buffy had never hated anyone more than she hated Angel right now. Sure, he had always been self-centered and kind of a jerk, but she had no idea he was capable of this level of destruction. The monster that had been in Spike’s office was not the Angel she thought she knew. 

As if he could hear her thoughts, Angel suddenly appeared before her. “How much fun was that?”

Buffy couldn’t hold back the urge to slap the grin off his face. Angel seemed momentarily taken back by her uncharacteristic use of violence, but recovered quickly. He had the nerve to laugh at her. “Did you really think I’d just let you go? Just let the two of you get away with making me look like an idiot?”

“You don’t need anyone’s help to look like an idiot, Angel.” Angel turned to walk away from her, but she grabbed his arm, stopping him. “What do you want? I’ll do whatever you want, just don’t get Spike in trouble,” she pleaded.

Angel shook her hand off his arm. “I already got exactly what I wanted,” he told her cruelly. “I get to keep my perfect GPA and relish in the fact that Spike will never forgive you.”

Buffy’s face fell at the harsh truth of his words. “Don’t look so glum, Buff. I’m sure you’ll do just fine on your own.” His voice was dripping with sarcasm.

Buffy glared at Angel’s retreating back as he stepped into the sunlight, exiting the building. She was at a complete loss. What the hell was she going to do now? How could she fix things with Spike? Was it even fixable? She had to admit, she had no idea where to go from here. 

Making her way out of the building, Buffy whipped on her sunglasses, shielding her eyes from the harsh sunlight. She was supposed to be on her way home the next day after classes. The last thing she wanted was to leave with things on such bad terms with Spike, but she didn’t seem to have any other choice. Her parents were expecting her and she doubted that Spike would want to see her any time soon. She let out a defeated sigh. She needed to clear her mind before doing anything else.

*****

It had been absolute torture for Spike to get through his remaining afternoon classes. He had trouble concentrating, and knew he wasn’t fooling his students. After Buffy had left his office, Spike had felt sick to his stomach. He barely made it to the restroom before vomiting. Angel’s actions hardly surprised him, but how could Buffy do that to him? He should have known better, been more suspicious of how strongly she had come on to him.

As soon as Spike had dismissed his last class of the day, he went home and packed up his car. He headed straight for the beach, intent on losing himself in the waves. It had been months since Spike had been surfing. The water got cold this time of year, but he knew the real reason was that Buffy had been consuming a lot of his free time.

Parking away from other cars, Spike got in the back of his SUV and changed into his wetsuit. He had started surfing after living in California for five years. Being from England, the beach never interested him much, but a friend of Dru’s had suggested he try surfing. Said if he was going to live in California, so close to the Pacific, he needed to learn. 

Spike found that he was something of a natural. When he was on his board, he could get lost in the feeling of the ocean all around him. Whenever he had a fight with Dru or was stressed about his life, he would come down to the beach and forget about it for a while. When Dru had died, Spike had been beside himself. Surfing had helped him through that dark period in his life. During the year he’d taken off from teaching, Spike had spent hours every day working through the pain and frustration of losing her, letting the waves be a temporary distraction from his grief.

Spike headed down to the water, not hesitating before running into the cold water. The waves weren’t particularly big that day, but they were good enough. As hard as he tried to forget, his thoughts constantly returned to Buffy. He had never felt as close to anyone as he had to her. How could it all have been a lie? The look in her eyes as she left his office had him turned inside out. She had looked so distraught; was it just because she’d been caught? Or was there something more? 

He was going to drive himself crazy thinking like that. Buffy had deceived him. She had been part of a plan to get him fired. He shouldn’t give a shit about her feelings. So why did he?

He didn’t. All Spike cared about right now was catching the next wave.

*****

Buffy didn’t get any sleep on Monday night. She had completely forgotten about the sorority’s annual Thanksgiving dinner, and her friends wouldn’t let her back out. Besides, she was really hoping it would get her mind off everything else. During dinner, she had tried to focus on the conversations around her, but she mostly found her thoughts drifting back to Spike. She had to find a way to explain everything to him. 

After dinner, Willow asked Buffy to go for a walk to the coffee shop. Buffy jumped at the chance to talk to her best friend alone about what had happened that afternoon. Willow had listened sympathetically. She told Buffy that Spike might come around after some time apart, but even if he didn’t Buffy would be all right. Willow had called her a ‘survivor’. Buffy didn’t feel very much like a survivor at the moment.

When she got back to her room, Buffy attempted to go through her nightly rituals. She brushed her teeth, cleaned her face, put on pajamas and got into bed. The television was left on in the background, but she wasn’t paying any attention to it. Spike consumed her every thought as she considered what she would do next to try and repair what was now broken. 

Around midnight, Buffy decided her best bet was to write him a letter. She doubted that he would want to speak to her in person, and she didn’t want to put it off until after break. Five drafts and two hours later she was finished. The letter wasn’t very long, but it didn’t need to be. Now if she could just get a couple hours of sleep, she could sneak into Spike’s office before he got there and leave it for him.

*****

Buffy managed to get some sleep, but in her anxious state, she was up every hour until finally it was seven. She quickly showered and got ready for the day, wanting to be at Spike’s office before 8:30, when he normally arrived on Tuesdays. Even in her hurry, she found herself running late and was out of breath by the time she got to his office. The door was closed, so she quietly turned the knob, letting herself in.

Buffy stopped like a deer in headlights when she saw Spike sitting behind his desk. He wasn’t wearing the same clothes as the day before, but the clothes he was wearing were rumpled-a big difference from his usual crisp, clean suit.

“What are you doing here?” they asked in unison, breaking the silence.

“I…uh…I didn’t think you would be here so early,” Buffy admitted sheepishly. She didn’t dare hope that Spike looked so bad because he missed her. He was probably just still angry…

“Well, excuse me for being in my own office. Wasn’t exactly getting much sleep at home.”

 _Definitely angry._ “I didn’t come here to fight-“

“Then why did you?” he interrupted. “I thought I asked you not to come back.”

Buffy was at a loss for words as she stared into Spike’s cold eyes. They made her almost forget why she was there. “Oh, I came to drop off a letter. I’m going home after classes today…I just wanted to drop it off. I didn’t know you would be here.” She dropped the envelope in front of him on his desk. “Sorry to bother you,” she said quietly, quickly turning on her heel and rushing out of the room.

It took everything Spike had not to call her back. He was absolutely furious with her, but at the same time it killed him to see her so obviously hurting. Quit acting like such a ponce, he chided himself. He knew he should tear up the letter and just forget about her, but another part of him wanted to know what excuses she thought could make this go away.

Spike carefully opened the envelope. He took a deep breath before reading the words.

_Spike,_

_There are no words to describe how sorry I am for what I’ve done. I know there’s no excuse for it, but I think we both know that I was a different person when I agreed to help Angel. You have made me see so many things differently, and I am so grateful for it. You are the best person I know, so much better than me, and you didn’t deserve any of this. You said I don’t know the meaning of the word love. Well, I do. I know it because you have taught me how to love. Even if you never forgive me, you have to know that it was real. It was real for me from the very beginning._

_I never meant for any of this to happen. I never meant to hurt you like I did._

_I love you.  
Buffy_


	20. Chapter Twenty

** Chapter Twenty – Where Do We Go From Here? **

_One Month Later_

“Miss Buffy?”

Buffy looked up from what she had been doing, her gaze falling on her parents’ housekeeper. She smiled in response to the older woman. “Yes, Carolyn?”

Carolyn regarded the warm gaze coming from Buffy. There were times when she still wasn’t quite used to the differences in the younger woman. Gone was the spoiled brat, replaced by a kinder, more mature Buffy. The changes were something that she could get used to, but sadly, she would not have the chance.

“You have a visitor. Someone from school.”

Buffy cocked her head to the side, wondering who it could be. She quickly decided that it had to be Willow. Her other friends from school were either not speaking to her, or away for the holidays.

Buffy smiled. It would be good to see her best friend again. Things had been strained since Thanksgiving, and if she was being honest, she could use the company. Her parents had left yesterday, Christmas morning, for their annual holiday vacation. In the past, she would have spent Christmas day with Angel’s family. This year, she had the house to herself, ordered Chinese food and watched _A Charlie Brown Christmas_.

Even with Carolyn around during the day, a big quiet house was a quite different from the busy sorority house she was used to.

“Great,” she told Carolyn. “I’ll be right down.”

Buffy put down the tape she’d been using and went into the bathroom that was connected to her bedroom. She washed her hands and splashed some water on her face. Deciding that her appearance was good enough for Willow’s unexpected visit, she started making her way down the long hallway towards the stairs.

Halfway down the stairs, she stopped in her tracks. The person standing in her foyer was very much not Willow. He was standing with his back to her, but there was no doubt it was him. There weren’t two of those in the world.

Quickly recovering before he found her gaping from her place on the stairs, Buffy continued until her sneaker touched the marble floor.

“Spike?”

*****

Spike watched the housekeeper disappear up the long staircase, still in awe that this was where Buffy lived. He had almost turned around, afraid that he had the wrong address. Buffy couldn’t possibly live in the biggest house he’d ever seen, by far, in his entire life.

But, apparently she did.

Spike looked around the large foyer, noticing a sitting room on his left. Without entering the room, he could see a family portrait hanging above the fireplace. The three people in the picture were smiling, but Spike found himself staring at a younger Buffy. She was every bit as stunning as always, but he could make out the sadness behind her perfect smile.

Spike was so caught up wondering about the reason behind the sad smile from someone living such a seemingly charmed life that he didn’t hear the object of his thoughts coming down the stairs. It was only the quiet squeak of her sneaker on the marble floor which shook him from his reverie.

“Spike?”

Spike quickly turned, and was surprised to see how much Buffy had changed in the last month. Physically, her hair was shorter and a darker shade of blonde and she had lost weight on her already petite frame. His heart wrenched at how worn-out she looked.

“Hello, Buffy.”

Buffy was, to say the least, shocked to see Spike standing in her house. He was the last person she ever expected to be paying her a visit. “How? Wha-what are you doing here? In my house?”

Spike let out a breath, running a hand through his hair before making eye contact again. “I needed to see you.”

It was a simple answer, but the real question was-why? There were too many possibilities, some scarier than others. But, Buffy had come too far in the last month to be a coward, so she voiced her question aloud.

Spike shrugged, as if in defeat. “I missed you.” In fact, it was defeat. He had tried as hard as he could for the past month to stay away from her. To forget about her. That obviously hadn’t worked.

Spike slowly approached her. She had yet to respond to his declaration, her gaze firmly locked on the floor. Standing right in front of her, he couldn’t help but notice how tiny she looked in the tank top and sweats she was wearing. His hand reached out to cup her chin, forcing her head up so that she was looking at him.

“I missed you,” he said again, this time a little louder and stronger.

Buffy leaned into his hand. Then, her eyes opened wide as if she had just remembered something. “Oh!” Her hand flew up to her hair. “You’re finally here and I’m a complete mess. I wasn’t expec-…I thought you were…someone else.” A blush crept into her cheeks.

Spike chuckled. “Love, you could be wearing a burlap sack and you’d be bloody gorgeous.”

The compliment putting her more at ease, Buffy remembered her manners and invited Spike to sit and have a drink.

“Actually, I can’t,” he said, much to her disappointment. “But, I would love to see you later. Maybe take you out on that date we never got to go on?”

Buffy’s crestfallen look quickly turned into one of excitement. Agreeing that he would come back a few hours later to pick her up, Buffy couldn’t keep the smile off her face as she closed the door behind him.

*****

The ride to the restaurant was spent making meaningless conversation. More serious topics floated just under the surface, but neither felt comfortable initiating what could turn out to be an awkward discussion. Buffy was dying to know where Spike stood, but her confidence from earlier had vanished. He had invited her on a date to a nice restaurant and he was wearing a nice-and she couldn’t help but notice-expensive suit. She would take that as a good sign until he told her otherwise.

Now that they were seated, their superficial dialogue focused on the menu. Should she order the chicken or fish? Should he choose the mashed potatoes or, perhaps, a baked potato with his steak?

It was driving Buffy crazy. This wasn’t them. Their entire relationship had been so passionate and for them to be acting so uncomfortable around each other was really grating on her nerves.

After the server had taken their order, Buffy decided she’d had enough. Even though the butterflies in her stomach were leaving less and less room for the entrée she had ordered, there were things that needed to be said. And, clearly Spike wasn’t going to be making the first move.

“How are things in Sunnydale?” Okay, not as direct as she intended, but it was a start.

Spike didn’t look surprised by her question. He knew her well enough to see that she had been working up the courage to approach the subject. “Well, I still have my job.”

“So that means…”

“That Angel got his ‘A’.” Spike nodded. “I didn’t want to do it, but I didn’t see any other choice.”

Buffy hung her head, still embarrassed by the part she’d played in all of it. “Spike, I’m so, so sorry.”

“Why did you leave?” he asked, more serious than she’d ever seen him before. “Was it because of me?”

Buffy’s answer was interrupted by the delivery of their meals. The minute it took to refill their wine glasses stretched on forever. When she looked back at Spike, he was staring at her with an overwhelming intensity.

“No.” She paused. “Partially,” she amended, wanting to be honest with him.

“Partially?” This was the thought that had been plaguing Spike for weeks. Ever since he had found out that Buffy had dropped out of school, he had wondered if it was because of him. The educator in him couldn’t help but feel guilty, while the man in him was furious. Dropping out of school because of a failed relationship? The thought was absolutely ludicrous, and if it was true, Buffy wasn’t the changed woman she claimed to be.

“Yes, partially.” Buffy set her fork down, and looked up at Spike. “I left school because I have no future there. I love my friends and being part of my sorority, but I wasn’t there to earn an education.” She leaned across the table, placing her hand over Spike’s. “Being with you changed the way I thought about things. Before, it was fine for me to waste my parents’ money, but after being with you I started to realize that what I’m really wasting is my time.”

Spike looked surprised by her declaration. When he didn’t respond, she continued. “I’ve had a lot of time to think over the last four weeks. Do you know that I haven’t been single since I was fourteen? Isn’t that ridiculous? I’ve been in relationships, some better than others, since I was _fourteen years old_. I need to stop living through the guy I’m with and start being more independent.”

Spike didn’t know whether to be proud or hurt. What role would he play in her newfound independence? He pushed those thoughts aside, to be addressed at another time. Instead he smiled at her. “That sounds great, pet. What’s next?”

Buffy returned her attention to her dinner, digging in. She hadn’t felt this hungry in weeks. “Let’s save the life-altering decisions for later,” she replied, only half joking. “What’s going on back at school? Any good gossip?”

Spike smiled, happy to see the carefree Buffy he’d come to love hadn’t disappeared entirely. “As much as I hate saying his name, Angel’s been the source of a lot of talk around campus.” Buffy looked surprised. Angel had always been popular, but managed to fly under the radar. “Him and Harmony,” Spike continued gently. He knew the animosity Buffy felt towards the other blonde, and didn’t want to upset her.

“Oh, that,” Buffy replied dismissively, not even looking up from her meal. “I found out about that right before I left.”

Spike was surprised, not only that she knew, but also that she didn’t seem to care. Buffy just shrugged. “Yeah, it sucked that it was going on behind my back, but hey, not exactly the picture of morality here.” Buffy chuckled to herself. “What didn’t suck was punching Harm right in her pointy little nose.”

Spike’s eyes opened wide in shock as he let out a laugh. “You did that?”

“She was asking for it! If you ask me, that punch was long overdue,” Buffy told him, remembering how good it had felt to take the bitch down a few notches in the middle of their sorority house with many sisters watching. “She probably got a nose job out of it.”

The awkwardness between them seemed to evaporate and they spent the rest of dinner, and dessert, catching up. Spike told her about the end of his semester and the classes he’d be teaching in the spring. Buffy complained about living back home with her parents. The one subject they didn’t touch was the future and what it meant for them.

*****

It started with a kiss. Buffy had leaned over to give Spike a chaste kiss goodnight, pulling back slowly so he could still feel her breath on his cheek. He didn’t think twice before closing the distance, assaulting her lips with his. When they had finally parted, due only to the need for oxygen, Buffy had whispered an invitation seductively in his ear.

They barely made it inside the house before Spike’s lips were on hers again. He was grateful for the privacy of a deserted house because he didn’t think they would make it all the way up to her bedroom. Never breaking the kiss, Buffy pushed him backwards towards the sitting room he’d been admiring mere hours before.

Spike unzipped the back of her dress, letting it fall to the floor. Now clad in only her panties and pumps, Buffy made fast work of disrobing him. His suit jacket was thrown to the floor, followed by his tie and belt. Kicking off his shoes as she unbuttoned his pants, Spike quickly undid the buttons on his dress shirt.

As soon as Spike had discarded his shirt and stepped out of his pants, Buffy pushed him down onto the sofa. She moved quickly to join him, straddling his waist. She reached back to remove her heels before she felt Spike stopping her.

“Leave ‘em on.”

Buffy could see the lust in his eyes and just nodded in response. Hand in her hair, Spike pulled her head down to meet his in another passionate kiss. The other hand snaked down between them, gently brushing his fingertips against her panty clad mound. Buffy sighed into his mouth as she moved her hips, letting him know she wanted more. Breaking from her mouth, his lips trailed down her neck, down her chest until he found her hardened nipple. Sucking the bud into his mouth, Spike pushed her panties aside and plunged two fingers inside her.

Buffy’s head fell back, emitting a tiny moan as his hands and mouth went to work. He was sucking so hard on her nipple that it hurt, but at the same time felt so good. His other hand was alternating between squeezing its twin and pinching her nipple. She was so close if he would just…

“Spike,” she moaned, thrusting her hips down on his fingers to increase the friction. “Please…..need…more!”

Spike smiled. His erection was painfully hard, but he wanted her to cum first from his hands alone. “I know, baby. I know what you need.” He inserted a third finger into her wet pussy while his thumb flicked over her clit. It only took a few strokes before Buffy was shuddering against him, her juices flowing over his hand.

Needing to be inside her, Spike pushed her down so that she was lying back on the sofa. He pulled down the panties that she was still wearing before crawling between her parted thighs. He couldn’t resist a taste, lapping up her sweet juices. Buffy’s hips bucked at the unexpected sensation of his tongue on her folds, and whimpered when it was gone too soon. Spike positioned himself at her opening, sliding home in one thrust. They both let out a sigh at the feeling of being joined again.

Spike moved slowly in and out of her, trying to get a hold on his impending orgasm. “Buffy…bloody hell, you feel so good! Missed you so much…”

Pulling her hips up, Spike threw her legs over his shoulders. He couldn’t hold it off any longer as he started thrusting quick and hard, each thrust hitting her sensitive clit. A chorus of moans and their bodies connecting filled the room before both cried out as their orgasms sent them over the edge.

*****

Spike woke up the next morning to the sound of running water. Groaning sleepily, he stretched. The first thing he noticed was how sore he was. He had used muscles last night that hadn’t been used in weeks and he was definitely feeling the after effects. Not that it hadn’t been well worth it…

The second thing he noticed was that he was alone in bed. Somehow they had managed to make it up to her bedroom, neither of them wanting the housekeeper walking in on them in the sitting room. Lifting his head off the pillow, Spike looked around the room. The large room was rather bare, with boxes littering the floor. He saw a door on the far side of the room and realized Buffy must have gotten up to take a shower.

Lying back down against the pillows, Spike waited patiently until he heard the water turn off. It wasn’t long before Buffy strode out of her bathroom, clad in a short, white bathrobe. Towel drying her wet hair, she smiled when she caught him looking at her.

“Good morning.” Buffy sat on the edge of the bed next to him, leaning down to give him a kiss. Catching her before she could move away, Spike pulled her down on top of him, deepening the kiss.

Buffy pulled away when she felt two fingers slide into her. “Spike,” she whined. “I just got all clean.”

“Yes, but I’m still very dirty,” he told her, nipping at her neck.

Reluctantly, Spike released his hold on her so that she could move into a sitting position again. He gestured to the numerous boxes cluttering her room. “Four weeks and you still haven’t unpacked?” he teased her. “Don’t you have someone who could do that for you?”

The playful light that had been in Buffy’s eyes just seconds before dimmed. She lowered them from his penetrating gaze. “We should talk. There’s something I need to tell you.”

Spike sensed the seriousness in her tone and sat up against the headboard. “What is it, love?” he asked, concerned by the sudden change in her mood.

“The boxes, they’re not from school.” Buffy looked back up into his eyes, seeing his concern and confusion. “I’m leaving.”


	21. Chapter Twenty-One

**  
Chapter Twenty-One – A Work in Progress   
**  
“You’re leaving? Where are you going?”

“New York.”

“New York? What the hell is in New York?”

Buffy stood, wringing her hands as she paced next to the bed. She had been so sure that leaving was the best thing to do, but now…no. She couldn’t- _wouldn’t_ -allow herself to make any more decisions based on what relationship she was in. No matter how much she wanted to stay with him.

“A fresh start,” she answered quietly.

Spike jumped out of her bed, grabbing his pants from their spot on the floor. Angrily, he shoved his legs inside. He didn’t speak again until he had them buttoned and zipped.

“A fresh start?” Spike could smack himself for sounding so ridiculous, repeating everything she was saying, but he could not believe what he was hearing. “So, you have no plan? Just thought New York would be as good a place as any to up and leave everyone who cares about you?”

“That’s not fair! I hate living here, in this house! And you made it pretty clear that you never wanted to see me again-.”

“So this is my bloody fault? After the stunt you pulled? I’m sorry, I didn’t realize the time I took _forgiving you_ was so _inconvenient_!”

“I never said that, and it certainly doesn’t sound like you’ve forgiven me!”

Spike grabbed his other articles of clothing, throwing on the shirt without bothering to button it. “It’s a work in progress.” He paused in front of her, holding his things in his arms. “Don’t see how it’s going to work, with you being on the other side of the country and all.”

“Spike-.”

“I think I should go.” Buffy reached out to stop him, but he evaded her grasp. “I-I have to go.”

*****

It took Buffy a full minute before she ran after Spike. She ran as fast as she could down the hallway, the staircase and out the front door into the driveway. Surprised to see his car still parked there, she spun around and found that she had run right past him. Spike was sitting on the step, still holding his things, staring off. She doubted he’d even heard her come barreling out of the house.

Buffy took a seat next to him, placing a hand on his arm. “I didn’t think you would ever want me back.”

Spike turned to look at her. The sadness in his blue orbs showed her how deep his feelings for her were. “Never didn’t want you, not really.”

Buffy chose her next words very carefully. “I have to do this. For me.” She took his hand in hers, kissing his palm. “When I made this decision, I had no reason to stay in California. If I stay here now – well, I don’t want to be that girl anymore.”

Spike hung his head. After everything, he was losing her.

A tiny finger lifted his head back up to meet Buffy’s soft lips. She kissed him slowly, pouring her heart into the kiss. “It doesn’t have to be the end,” she whispered to him, her mouth still against his. “It can’t be. Not when I’m so in love with you.”

“When do you leave?”

“New Year’s Day.”

Six days. Less than a week to work it out. It wasn’t much time, but it was enough. Buffy loved him and he loved her; they would find a way to work out the rest.

*****

In those six days, Buffy and Spike did everything they had never been able to do in Sunnydale. Things normal couples took for granted. It was liberating to be able to hold his hand and kiss him in public. No one in L.A. knew that he was a professor and she had been a student. They spent as much time together as possible, knowing that all too soon they would be separated.

Only once had they spoken about what would happen when the week was over. Buffy needed time by herself to get settled, but by then Spike would be back at work. He wouldn’t have time off to visit her until March. Buffy knew this was a good thing, that it would give her more than enough time to settle in and develop a routine, but March seemed so far away. It wasn’t his fault, so she tried not to let him see how upsetting the thought was to her, instead, told him she couldn’t wait for his visit.

Spike had wanted to take her out for New Year’s Eve, but Buffy preferred to be at home with him. Her parents weren’t due back until the next day-arriving after her departure- and she wanted to spend her last night in California alone with Spike. And alone they were, after letting the household staff go home early for the holiday.

Downstairs in the theater room, Buffy and Spike sat together on one of the couches eating from a box of pizza. It wasn’t the romantic meal Spike had envisioned, but it was perfect all the same. Neither of them spoke of the invisible ticking clock that seemed to be looming over their heads. They had each come to terms with the situation on their own, and were ready to make the best of it to salvage their relationship.

They made love as the crowd on television anxiously awaited the New Year. They barely heard the announcers or performers, too focused on each other and the sensations building with each touch and thrust. Each kiss was a promise that everything would be fine.

Buffy’s legs and arms wrapped tightly around Spike in a desperate need to feel as much of his skin on hers as she could. He panted above her, breathing words of love into her hair, and raining kisses over her face. The countdown was ignored as they both neared climax. Buffy came mere seconds before Spike cried out her name, spilling his warm seed deep inside her.

_Five…four…three…two…one._

The crowd on the screen went wild as the ball reached its final destination. Spike leaned down to capture Buffy’s lips in a searing kiss.

“Happy New Year, baby.”

Wrapped in his arms, kissing him, Buffy could not see why it wouldn’t be.


End file.
